The Comedy Club - Post Your Jokes Here

LONDONER VS GLASGOW COP

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!

Glasgow cop says, " Licence and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Glasgow cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign"

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming"

Glasgow cop says "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration,and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Glasgow cop says "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir"

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the bejabbers out of the lawyer and says "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon

Originally Posted by Icanopit

Licence and registration, please

Was that in Glasgow, Pennsylvania?

Thought this was funny,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmD4O...eature=related

Originally Posted by Electro

RIP The guy from Steps.

Tragedy!

hahaha!

A Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman..
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..'
The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
''What's so special about it?'
The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies
'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says,
' Bloody thing's an hour fast!'

Ste.

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

[Luckypants]

Originally Posted by keithd

I thought the Wife was joking when she said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees...

And then I saw her face

Originally Posted by Stenno

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

Fail

i thought my delivery was better

haha I thought 'shall I search it for?' and thought feck it, can't be arsed! And now you've shown me up. Meanie. :P