What is your philosophy in life?

[Geodude]

My longterm relationship ended nearly three years ago after 14 years due to my mood swings, depression and anxiety which i have been treated for since 1992 and im still gutted it happened and still on my own and struggling but im 43 and past my sell by date and way to broken for anyone else so i know how hard life can be but your only a young lad so dont let it beat you like i did. Have faith in yourself and dont be shy asking for help and on your dark days try not to shut yourself away like i do instead keep a memory of a happy time in your head and always be good to good people and you'll be right.

It all started in July 2010, began medication September 2010, was off work till mid November and had some really black days back then. A lot better now but still not well.

Many small things can trigger the bad days

Originally Posted by Geodude

My longterm relationship ended nearly three years ago after 14 years due to my mood swings, depression and anxiety which i have been treated for since 1992 and im still gutted it happened and still on my own and struggling but im 43 and past my sell by date and way to broken for anyone else so i know how hard life can be but your only a young lad so dont let it beat you like i did. Have faith in yourself and dont be shy asking for help and on your dark days try not to shut yourself away like i do instead keep a memory of a happy time in your head and always be good to good people and you'll be right.

I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties and I hope you are getting the support you need.

In the dark days I try and socialise even more as that makes them less dark and leads to the better days.

In the good days I can spend time on my own as well.

All the money in the world is worthless if you cannot look yourself in the eye in the mirror every morning. Not all economics is zero sum. Refuse to feel guilty for things you didn't do, or things you do which don't hurt other people. Try to give more than you take, but don't be ashamed to ask for help when you need it and be grateful if you receive it. The right thing and the easy thing are seldom the same thing. Love, ride and get a few beers in. Music is pretty important too.

What works for me when I'am feeling depressed, which happens accasionally is to do something.

I know that sounds silly, but I find the hardest thing to do is actually get off my **** and do something.
Once i do things tend to improve. I've been through it enough times now to know that the best thing is to do something competitive and physically demanding.

For me Bandminton or Squash work well, I am reasonably good a both and I find it best if I do something that i am reasonable skilled at rather than something new.

Hope that helps.

[fizzwheel]

I've never been diagnosed with it but convinced that at some point in my past I have had depression probably still have it now to some extent sometimes. I do often feel like the world is piling in on top of me and have had days when I couldnt move off the sofa and I couldnt get out of the house. I'd often just stare at the TV for hours not really thinking or feeling anything. I'd also get into a circle of self pity and blaming myself for things that had gone wrong or happened that werent my fault or that I just had no control over.

I missed many opportunities in my life because of apathy or just being to damn scared to act on what I was thinking or feeling at the time. Due to lack of self confidence and the fact that beign bullied all the way through school left its scar's.

The trick with it is to get moving to push / force yourself to take that first step and then get going. Doesnt matter what that step is or what you do, the fact that you take that inaction and turn it into action gets you up and going. It could be anything from going to the shops or to even talking to a friend or somebody else to ask for help. Once you take action then you begin on the long journey to changing your life.

Exercise is a tremendous help. I know it sounds daft, but I find pedaling away on my pushbike gives me time to think about the days events or whats happened etc etc, I have time to think and fresh air and some perspective is a wanderful thing sometimes. I realise its not for everybody but I found and still find it helps me tremendously.

I also find with age does come wisdom to. I'm not perfect I never will be but a few extra years have passed me by and I know now that I look at things differently that I did a few years ago.

Here's my perspective now.

If something has upset me I talk to somebody about it, normally thats person is Liz who is a saint sometimes for putting up with me. It can be my brother or my dad. I have another couple of friends that I can pick up the phone to or pop around to see when I need to talk. Liz's mum is really good to talk to as well. Thing is once you share a problem with someobdy then your halfway to solving it.

I'm better now at making a decision, so instead of sitting and fretting about something I'll now do something about it, research or reading up, then I decide what I'm going to do. I dont always get it right, frequently I f*ck things up, but I feel now that doing something and getting it wrong is better than doing nothing at all.

Pick your battles. Change the things that you can and dont sit and worry about something or situations that you have no control over.

You cant be everybodies friend. If somebody doesnt like you, that doesnt matter. You will always come across people in life who you dont get on with. You cant please everybody all the time so dont try.

Put yourself first, if what you do has no negative impact on those people that you love and care about and doesnt harm yourself, then go and do it. See point above about doing something and getting it wrong is better than doing nothing.

Trust yourself, trust your gut instinct and dont let your head rule your heart or you'll never be truly happy, but try to not let your heart lead all the time.

Dont hang around with people the same as you. I.e. if your fedup sitting around with somebody similarly fedup and you'll drag each other down. I had a spell where I would purposely choose to go round with a different crowd of people than my friends, just to get away from those in my peer group who were feeling like I was. A change sometimes is as good as a rest.

Life is all about balance, between work and home. Between friends and family.

I'm probably rambling a bit and talking to myself in one way or another in the above post, dont know if its useful or not, but there you go.

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by seedy100

What works for me when I'am feeling depressed, which happens accasionally is to do something.

I know that sounds silly, but I find the hardest thing to do is actually get off my **** and do something.
Once i do things tend to improve. I've been through it enough times now to know that the best thing is to do something competitive and physically demanding.

For me Bandminton or Squash work well, I am reasonably good a both and I find it best if I do something that i am reasonable skilled at rather than something new.

Hope that helps.

Agree with Seedy here, I struggle to motivate myself to go and do something, once I'm out, its fine. But if I didn't I'd sit and vegitate in front of the TV. But I'm having a lot of dark days at the moment.

Think I discussed your problems by PM, when you were first having issues, as they were similar to one of my team members problems.

But you've done a lot to help yourself, which are very similar to my colleague. Yes, you've got some medication, but it did help my colleague too, so don't worry about it.

He just decided one day to halve his medication and then stopped eventually. He's much better, even though he's raised his stress levels by moving house!

Just take heart from all the positive stuff thats been said here, you're doing great

This is not a good time of year for having a good outlook on life, but days will get longer and air will get warmer, which in my book helps fight my demons

I`m really sorry to hear you`ve been going through such a hard time, it sounds a nightmare. Fizz has given some really good tips there and as people keep saying you need to take things one step at a time, from what you say you seem to be overloading yourself with too many problems and i`m sure this feels quite overwhelming.

You really need to get to grips with some positive thinking.... I do believe that when we`re in this downwards spiral of thinking about how unhappy we are, how lonely we are or how sad we feel then we attract that back twofold. Whatever you focus on you`ll get so if you`re thinking how bad everything is then nothing is gonna change. As difficult as it is start focusing on what`s good in your life and how lucky you are in other areas of your life. It might sound a really stupid idea to begin with but it works for me.... I`ve come through a very unhappy period of my life, one where due to quite often being on the receiving end of hurtful criticism and being made to feel "not quite good enough" my confidence all but disappeared and my self worth was non existent. I`ve bounced back and am enjoying my life, I no longer focus on what was wrong or was missing in my life and I just look at what`s right with it.

A great book if you enjoy reading is

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0...ef=oss_product

Very best of luck hun and i look forward to seeing you out and about over the Summer.

[dizzyblonde]

I fell off the happy boat years ago, I tried to hold onto it for years, then one day things got so crap, I just fell off it(and my bike), and there was no stopping it. Took me around two years or so to get totally back on track...I'm now at a stage where my imaginary roses round my front door are in full bloom again. For years I've had this vision in my head of a rose bush surrounding my front door. For a long time, I just imagined a brown dying plant....when I was really down. These days I imagine, full red roses, bright and wonderful. Its how I feel my life is right now

Its been a long hard battle to stay happy and content. I feel a sense of self worth again, lifes great,,,but its hard work to keep it that way.
A laughing smiling face can hide a mutitude of sadness.

Try to go out often, just for a walk, a stint in the sun, not necessarily to see people, smile at folk, say hello, the small things that brighten your day add up, to make your life much brighter full stop.

Hope things get better Moses.xx

[MisterTommyH]

Keep up with the running and the gym, it's worked for me when I've been there.

Gym when you feel down really does get you feeling better, especially if it's something like spinning that you can really take your frustration out on, and get a high from at the end.

Also try running outside more that on the treadmill. The air is good for you, and you get a great sense of achievement when you realise you're getting better.