Attempted to stop a burglar and ended up scaring my flatmate - SV650.org

25-07-06, 08:01 AM

Woke up at stupid o'clock last night - the outside security light was on & there were muffled sounds from the direction of my bike on the front drive. As I was pretty much still in the land of nod, I ignored it until I heard what sounded like bolt cutters on my chain & padlock.

Being a bit of a wimp, I jumped out of bed to find my camera, figuring that if I took a photo of the bike thieving scum, they would run away & I wouldn't have to confront them. As it was really dark I couldn't find my camera but I found my camera phone. Unfortunately as it's new I've barely figured out how to use it, let alone use the camera - asking the thieves to stand still for a second whilst I take a blurry picture was not an option.

Confrontation it is then.

Found a pair of trousers. Urban combats. Decided against a t-shirt as theat would have taken too much time. Figured that I needed to scar the thieving scum away so I reached for my samurai sword & slowly crept to the front door of my house.

Apparently, I look a bit like Edward Norton in American History X (but without the tattoo or the atitude) so I was hoping that this would be enough to scar the thieves off.

I quietly unlocked the front door & with the sword still in the scabbard (I only wanted to scar the thieving scum) I jumped out at them.....

....and fell into Anne. My drunken flat mate. Oops. Scared her to death with my Kato-from Pink Panther samurai sword antics.

Anne's a journalist. She regularily goes out for the odd half after work with contacts that want favourable coverage. I guess this contact had dire need of good publicity as Anne was wrecked. The noises had been Anne fumbling about in the dark & the sound tha I thought was a pair of bolt cutters was her iPod falling onto the ground in a zillion pieces.

And to cap it off she thought I was dressed like Rommel becasuse I was annoyed that she was making lots of noise! Bargain. She apologised.

At least my bike was safe.

25-07-06, 08:06 AM

Blimey, That was lucky!

I'd of hit first and asked questions later!

25-07-06, 08:20 AM

Wow

25-07-06, 08:31 AM

Your kung fu is strong sensi!!

Viney · 25-07-06, 08:35 AM

Excellent

A work colleague of mine once done the same, but went running out the fornt door to find a policeman (Hard job i know) She found one, and came running back saying that someone was in her house...There was, her housemate, who had got back from holiday early!! Oh, how we laughed

Spiderman · 25-07-06, 08:37 AM

Stu · 25-07-06, 09:11 AM

Don't give the punchline away in the headline!

25-07-06, 12:48 PM

Anne has just told me off....I hereby submit the revised ending:

....and fell into Anne. My drunken flat mate. Oops. Bored her to death with my Kato-from Pink Panther samurai sword antics.

Being a journalist. She regularily goes out for the odd half after work with contacts that want favourable coverage. I guess this contact had dire need of good publicity as Anne was bored ****less. The noises had been Anne fumbling about in the dark & the sound tha I thought was a pair of bolt cutters was her iPod falling onto the ground in one piece.

I apologise for any offence I may have caused her in the hope that when I go home tonight there wil still be sausages in the fridge for me to eat. Far be ti from me to accuse a journalist of being completely off her trolley some time around 1am!

;o)

25-07-06, 08:01 AM	#1
Kinvig Guest Posts: n/a	Attempted to stop a burglar and ended up scaring my flatmate Woke up at stupid o'clock last night - the outside security light was on & there were muffled sounds from the direction of my bike on the front drive. As I was pretty much still in the land of nod, I ignored it until I heard what sounded like bolt cutters on my chain & padlock. Being a bit of a wimp, I jumped out of bed to find my camera, figuring that if I took a photo of the bike thieving scum, they would run away & I wouldn't have to confront them. As it was really dark I couldn't find my camera but I found my camera phone. Unfortunately as it's new I've barely figured out how to use it, let alone use the camera - asking the thieves to stand still for a second whilst I take a blurry picture was not an option. Confrontation it is then. Found a pair of trousers. Urban combats. Decided against a t-shirt as theat would have taken too much time. Figured that I needed to scar the thieving scum away so I reached for my samurai sword & slowly crept to the front door of my house. Apparently, I look a bit like Edward Norton in American History X (but without the tattoo or the atitude) so I was hoping that this would be enough to scar the thieves off. I quietly unlocked the front door & with the sword still in the scabbard (I only wanted to scar the thieving scum) I jumped out at them..... ....and fell into Anne. My drunken flat mate. Oops. Scared her to death with my Kato-from Pink Panther samurai sword antics. Anne's a journalist. She regularily goes out for the odd half after work with contacts that want favourable coverage. I guess this contact had dire need of good publicity as Anne was wrecked. The noises had been Anne fumbling about in the dark & the sound tha I thought was a pair of bolt cutters was her iPod falling onto the ground in a zillion pieces. And to cap it off she thought I was dressed like Rommel becasuse I was annoyed that she was making lots of noise! Bargain. She apologised. At least my bike was safe.

25-07-06, 08:37 AM	#6
Spiderman Where the hell am I? Mega Poster Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Swingin' thru the urban jungle Posts: 7,451	__________________ . "Computers are great! Not for communicating tho. They have one fundamental flaw ... they don't have eyebrows." AlpineCarStereo: you win ....... eeerrr ..... ummm ..... my undying support of you, the greatest Mod this forum has ever known. My Leige. davepreston: i bow to your modding godliness. vixis: He's this really cute Persian tea-boy, Im so not giving you his number :P

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25-07-06, 08:06 AM	#2
DanDare Guest Posts: n/a	Blimey, That was lucky! I'd of hit first and asked questions later!

25-07-06, 08:31 AM	#4
Jester666 Guest Posts: n/a	Your kung fu is strong sensi!!

25-07-06, 08:35 AM	#5
Viney Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: In the shadows to the left Posts: 7,700	Excellent A work colleague of mine once done the same, but went running out the fornt door to find a policeman (Hard job i know) She found one, and came running back saying that someone was in her house...There was, her housemate, who had got back from holiday early!! Oh, how we laughed

25-07-06, 09:11 AM	#7
Stu Trinity Mega Poster Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Guildford Posts: 8,027	Don't give the punchline away in the headline!

25-07-06, 12:48 PM	#8
Kinvig Guest Posts: n/a	Anne has just told me off....I hereby submit the revised ending: ....and fell into Anne. My drunken flat mate. Oops. Bored her to death with my Kato-from Pink Panther samurai sword antics. Being a journalist. She regularily goes out for the odd half after work with contacts that want favourable coverage. I guess this contact had dire need of good publicity as Anne was bored less. The noises had been Anne fumbling about in the dark & the sound tha I thought was a pair of bolt cutters was her iPod falling onto the ground in one piece. I apologise for any offence I may have caused her in the hope that when I go home tonight there wil still be sausages in the fridge for me to eat. Far be ti from me to accuse a journalist of being completely off her trolley some time around 1am! ;o)