Ned Joke

After having their 11th child (Pocahontas Brittany Larsson O'Neill), a
Glesga couple decided that was enough because they could not afford a larger
bed. So the husband went to his GP and told him that he and his missus
didn't want to have any more children (Wur no wantin ony mair weans so wur
no).

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative," said
the doctor, "is to go home, get a firework banger available from most east
end corner shops all year round, put it in an empty beer can, light it then
hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.

The Glesga Ned in the Charlie Nicholas parlance said to the doctor, "Ah
might no be the smartest tool in the shed, but Ah cannae see how pittin a
firework in a beer caun next to my ear is gonnae help me no tae huv ony mair
weans."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the Ned went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can
up to his ear and began to count: "1" "2" "3" "4" "5" ...........at which
point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting
on his other hand.

This procedure is available on the NHS, by the way, and works in Govan,

[anna]

...

I reckon that we could collect all the forum jokes together and make a really terriable joke book!!!..

still makes me laugh though

[Stingo]

Originally Posted by anna

...

I reckon that we could collect all the forum jokes together and make a really terriable joke book!!!..

still makes me laugh though

I think they already published it. In about 1906 :P