Have you ever.. (work related)

left a job you really like because of certain managers that you have tried to work with or around but find yourself down a dead end?

I really don't want to leave as this is my third job in 6 years but i find myself being pushed into a corner, not so much them trying to force me out but phone calls that are borderline bullying, attitudes towards me that just unacceptable.


i genuinely feel i have done everything in my power to appease these ppl, but it seems like it is to no avail, im not after lashings of praise or even congratulations on a job well done, just maybe a point in the right direction if they want me to do something and to be treated like a member of the team rather than an outcast and being tared like a colleague of mine that is a bit of a rogue.

I am not a bad employee (other than using the this right now to post this but im treating now as my lunch as i was in meetings (honest)) i don't take sick, I'm reliable, punctual, polite, accurate and consistent, and yet it still doesn't seem like enough. I gave it 6 months 8 months ago and am still at a cross roads, and genuinely confused,

i am loosing sleep, waking up at stupid times remembering things i have to do and haven't got around to doing, with the sickening condescending attitudes of my seniors running around my head.

Still young in the world of work, do i stick it and live with being treated like this to see if it gets better or do i call it a day, after all there is only so much being treated like **** any one person can take.

urs confused and angry of leeds

[northwind]

I'm considering leaving my current job- which I like- because my boss is a halfwit. Not a bully, or unpleasant or anything like that, just utterly incompetent. As in, we've been 2 hands short (which in an 8-man team, is a big deal) for 4 months. She was complaining about this bitterly for weeks, till it turned out it's up to her to advertise for the new staff. Little things like that. So it's just no fun, and the amount of times we have to pick up for her mistakes, or do her job for her, is just absurd. One day last week I spent 5 hours fixing a huge mistake that she'd made, which she had no idea how to fix, and then she complained that my own job wasn't getting done

I've been in the other position too, but i didn't like that job much so it was no hardship to tell them to shove it up their ****.

[fizzwheel]

I've never left a job because of a manager that I didnt like.

I have however contributed to one manager getting the sack, because he really was f*cking incompetant and also helped one further one out of the door. But I'm a stubborn b*stard and I wont leave anywhere till I'm good and ready.

If I were you and I guess you work in a small company with no dedicated HR department, because thats where I've always found stuff like this happens. Is to schedule a meeting with the managers that are giving you grief. Explain how the way they treat / speak to you makes you feel and ask them if theres anything that you can do to rectify the situation. In my experience you'll either get.

1. Ignored. If so leave they obviously don't give a f*ck about their staff, But you can leave and know that you at least tried to do something about the situation that you have found yourself in.

2. A list of things that they think you do wrong, which you may or may not be aware of.

3. An apology and a promise of better working conditions and also a list of areas where both you and they can improve.

At least you'll have stood up for yourself and let them know that your not happy with they way you get treated and then maybe they will go away and think about what they are doing and over time they will change their behaviour. Remember to keep calm and think before you speak. If you still feel the same then leave safe in the knowledge that its not a nice company to work for.

Remember you are at work to do a job, Not be best buddies with everybody in your office.

Don't ask me, I've just left my fourth job in 18 months.
I just feel like I'm living someone else's life.

Yes i once left a job because the manager was a bully but then i work in admin my job is very samey whichever area of work i go so if i hate a manager i just go somewhere else

Ive left a job i really loved because of a manager i couldnt get on with.
A year later he had left and i was lucky enough that they took me back, and im still there now.

Originally Posted by fizzwheel

I've never left a job because of a manager that I didnt like.

I have however contributed to one manager getting the sack, because he really was f*cking incompetant and also helped one further one out of the door. But I'm a stubborn b*stard and I wont leave anywhere till I'm good and ready.

If I were you and I guess you work in a small company with no dedicated HR department, because thats where I've always found stuff like this happens. Is to schedule a meeting with the managers that are giving you grief. Explain how the way they treat / speak to you makes you feel and ask them if theres anything that you can do to rectify the situation. In my experience you'll either get.

1. Ignored. If so leave they obviously don't give a f*ck about their staff, But you can leave and know that you at least tried to do something about the situation that you have found yourself in.

2. A list of things that they think you do wrong, which you may or may not be aware of.

3. An apology and a promise of better working conditions and also a list of areas where both you and they can improve.

At least you'll have stood up for yourself and let them know that your not happy with they way you get treated and then maybe they will go away and think about what they are doing and over time they will change their behaviour. Remember to keep calm and think before you speak. If you still feel the same then leave safe in the knowledge that its not a nice company to work for.

Remember you are at work to do a job, Not be best buddies with everybody in your office.

do what this man says - it works.

I've done the opposite- stayed in a job for longer than I otherwise would have, because despite the inherent failings and weaknesses of the job/company, the managers were the best I've worked for. I've even gone so far as to say, "If you leave, take me with you." and I know I'm not the only one who has said it.

I feel really sorry for you because it is vitally important that you enjoy your work as you are there for a very long time!

In my experience the attitude of work colleagues whether managers or not often varies subject to the profession eg. sales is often regarded as fairly cut throat with little love lost and few genuine friends.

Is there an age difference? Sometimes where there is a large age gap the communication fails just due to lack of understanding, the tone of the voice and so on. The younger generation can be confused as being a bit cocky and their speech sometimes gives the impression of being a bit up themselves when really they are just often keen to learn and impress, but is misunderstood. Sometimes people feel threatened at react by bullying.

I recall being retorted a couple of times because I joined in 'adult' conversation when a trainee. It was never actualy said, that is just my interpretation; or for wanting the last word (and still do!) only because I was passionate about an argument (friendly) and felt I had't put my point across well so kept trying. Others looked at it differently and thought I was cocky. I was often reminded that I could far, since we were on the tenth floor!

I learned from this and read 'the signs' and changed/adapted because yes I do think you have to; you can't wait for others. (I'm not suggesting this is the case for you of course). Successful women have had to battle hard to get places but often have had to adapt beyond what would usually be considered reasonable say, to keep the peace as it where. perhaps they shouldn't have to , but that's reality and it works - I admire them.

It might be worth taking a careful and *really honest look at yourself and your behaviour. Also worth keeping your head down then at a given opportunity start a small conversation with one of them (on their own when they are less likely to be affected by peer pressure) about work but asking their advice and guidance - a bit of the subservient role. There is nothing like getting someone to feel good about themselves to bring them round. Worry about the rights and wrongs and the 'shouldn't have to' stuff once you comfortable!

Analyse just how bad you think it really is. If it doesn't change then maybe move. If it keeps happening from job to job then I think you have to re-visit * here or consider the profession you are in?

I used mentor kids (sorry not trying patronise) at a school who under performed because they thought the teachers hated them and that the parents were dictators. getting them to look at things in a totally different way i.e. themsleves often helped a lot.

I have done this type of thing in work place too with some success. Of course there are the bullies out there!

Good luck

thanks for all the replies guys,

I will be the first to admit there is a generation gap im 21 and the guys in question are 40 plus, now im always keen to learn and pick up new skills, after all they don't just happen. I like to work hard and i wouldnt be where i am today if that wasn't true.

I have had a meeting the other day where i got to ask my direct line manager what more do the company want from me, there was little really he could come up with i guess i could work harder but i need some home life and a break now and then, iv given up taking my lunch break as im too busy.

The line manager in question is all to keen to sit back, watch me make a mistake and then point and laugh, and then tell me how he used to do it so better, which he couldn't, it just so happens iv been lumbered with bad contractors thanks to a lazy QS that was shown the door, or bad site managers who dont really give a toss. Im sick of it, if you have good advice share it, if not keep ur gob shut ansd ill learn by my own mistakes.

We are desperately short staffed with no real HR dept to speak off, i did report him to our HR (and PA to chairmen)
about a bullying phone call i received off him but it was brushed under the carpet.
even if it wasn't it would have made fkall difference, his feet are far to far under the table.

what saddens me the most is i truly know they dont give a flying fk about anyone, they chomp though admin, site managers, buyers cause there all sick of working, weve lost decent ppl thanks to inept management, yet he still seems to get away with it.

i know its easy to sit back and judge someone before walking a mile in there shoes but sometimes you can just tell by looking at there shoes they are a complete ******.


i need to change something as i think its making me ill now, and i dont want my work to ruin what iv worked so hard for at home.

iv got a lot to think about, and maybee i will sit them down,

I thin ka lot of thier contempt for me comes from the fact that they never gave me any direction, we had a job go really badly because a collegue want off on sick as it completed, when i picked up the work i cold it was a mess, incomplete with no time to sort it, so it had no choice but to go bad with my name against it, this happened again 3 months later as they realised i could be used a as scape goat. if they thought i was capable of dealing with it as they were disappointed because i didnt they should have given me some direction and support... there was none of either.


I have finally been given a true job description that will help me perform as expected, and the first job completes beggining of march with only me involved so no picking up somewone elses halkf asred work, so with any luck i will demonstrate that i can do the job they asked me to do, well

but time will tell.

any way sorry for the rant and the advise has been really usefull, keep it coming and ill keep you updated.

Cheers

Alex

ps sorry for the bad spelling the spell checker went nuts and stopped working..