Stress or something worse?

Okay, I am throwing myself at the mercy of the mighty .org but I need some advice.........

On Wednesday last week something snapped inside my head and I went a bit mental. Abnormal.....you could say.

I smashed up my PC. I mean I literally tore it to peices, monitor, case, innards you name it I destroyed it. Now, the worrying part is I have no real memory of the event, just the aftermath of me standing in the garden seeing my PC strewn across the lawn in a thousand (slight exaggeration) peices. My PC was something I loved, it cost me well over a grand to build and was used probably far too much (not for porn I might add). One of my hobbies is 3d graphics and another is gaming.

Now, I recently got put 'at risk of redundancy' and looks 99% sure that I am going. I've not really stressed about it too much but I have felt very angry of late. I have had anger attacks in the past but this is by and far the worst and I've never blanked out before like this. I also cut my hands up pretty bad doing whatever it was I was doing, superficial but quite a lot of blood which freaked me out a bit when I came too. I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday morning but am not sure what I even say to them and am worried it may affect other aspects of my life (mortgage, insurance etc) if it's something that goes on my file.

So, er, yeah. I guess I am living up to my name quite well.........

Oh I also smashed my phone too but that's because it was crap.

[the_lone_wolf]

At the risk of making you angry.......

That really cheered me up!

[dizzyblonde]

docs is the first step. Tell them everything thats happened. Tell them that you feel pretty angry, and flare up.
You may not think you feel stressed about things, but I think you may be surprised at what the doc may say.

[dizzyblonde]

lol that made me laugh too!

[Dave20046]

Not sure about stress but I know you can blank with depression, ever had any issues like that? Or it could be that the two have linked. pressure getting you down etc.
Hope you get it sorted mate and keep in work

I've had anger before. Funnily enough it's always related to technology or my hobbies. I threw an xbox from my bedroom window, which was on the first floor, I put my fist through my LCD TV about 5 months ago as a game annoyed me (how stupid) and once I even smashed up my motorbike with a hammer.............but it was only a GN250..

I probably have anger management issues but I've never blanked out before and that is what I am worried about.

Deffo need to explain all to the Dr.You might need to put a bit of pressure on them to take it seriously though.

We are having really similar problems with my brother. He gets himself into such a rage he blanks out. He nearly punched me the other day and if he had, he would have KO'd me for sure!

He's been back and forth to the Dr and only now have they referred him to a psychologist. Their intial response was to give him diazepam to take when he loses his temper......talk about shuting the door after the horse has bolted!!!

[Dave20046]

yeah I think everyone get's similar feelings you must just go a bit hulky I'd be tempted to do the same but I'm far to tight to smash stuff apart from a phone when it woke me up lol.

Tbh mate there's only so much help we can give you on here, docs is the first priority - you don't want to let it get out of hand. Atleast you've identified the problem, that's half the battle.

Originally Posted by Milky Bar Kid

He's been back and forth to the Dr and only now have they referred him to a psychologist. Their intial response was to give him diazepam to take when he loses his temper......talk about shuting the door after the horse has bolted!!!

That's another concern, I don't really want to take any drugs.

I used to be into weight lifting, well I still am but the natural way. It does make me wonder at times if my past abuses are catching up with me.