Out of the mouths of babes!!!

A few years ago we were decorating our bathroom with an aquatic theme. We were looking for a suitable handle for a cupboard door and Gemma said "I want a cheesy fishy knob".

Once when we were on holiday I told the wife she couldn't hire a push bike if she didn't produce her cycling proficiency certificate.

And she believed me.

Bless.

[Littlepeahead]

I reminded my mum-in-law before a family dinner that I don't eat pork. She replied - 'Nor do I, apart from sausages, and bacon, and ham, and the occaional pork chop'.

I once told somebody my dad died 2 years before i was born and they believed me

Can anyone remeber Hansie Cronje? The disgraced South African cricketer and his match fixings.
Well when it was all going on, my ex asked what he had done wrong as he was always in the news.
"throwing matches" i said.

"Really! So what has he set alight too?" came the reply.

[dizzyblonde]

Not GF or wife related but I had a conversation with my son last night who's 8, about adult hair. It went something like this

Me...All big people get hair everywhere, look at Peg
My son...Oh yeah, hes very hairy, but not on his head!!

Sorry but I found it hilarious, doubt you lot will.

[Messie]

This genuinely happened on saturday. Out shopping with a friend she paid for the stuff with cash. She then asked for 'cashback' as that would leave her short of cash. The assistant explained, very patiently, that cashback was only available when paying by debit card. Friend didn't believe her and left the counter in a bit of a huff. She didn't understand for ages when a) I thought she was joking and b)laughed at her - a lot

Erm my missus just asked me if penguins can fly??
She couldn't understand why I nearly wet myself...

Mrs Metal thought that coyotes didn't exist, that Wile E. Coyote was fictional.

Just been asked...
What's the difference between star wars and star trek, they're both set it space aren't they??
Yes dear...