Everyone doesn't react the same way!

Originally Posted by madness

In light of recent events on the .org, I'll tell you a couple of short stories. If you find them interesting, feel free to comment, if you don't find them interesting then call me a spam poster!

Story 1

A few years ago I used to frequent a car forum. One of the forum members used to post sometimes quite strange threads that where not car related, but interesting and amusing. I found out after becoming freindly with the lass, that she suffered from manic depression/bi-polar disorder or whatever it's called. There where some members of the forum who used to give her a lot of stick and slagging off about her posts. Myself and other members defended her posts because they where funny and interesting. One day after a particularly hostile response to one of her threads, she went away and killed herself. Obviously she had been at a really low point that day, and something pushed her over the edge.

Story 2

About a year ago, a man was found beaten to death in a local churchyard. He had been attacked with an iron bar. It turns out the the murderer took exception to the dead man being disrespectful to his dead grandad by having sex near his grave.


The moral of the stories is basically that you need to think about what you say and do to other people because they may not react in the way you may expect them to react.

If you think this post is inapropriate, then tough. If you think I'm preaching, then tough. I you want to slag me off, then tough. I don't care.

Spam, mods please delete


On a serious note, i would only post things i would say to the persons face , i suspect a lot of posts on here when peoples backs are up wouldnt get to that stage if in the real world, face to face in a pub or rideout etc

I also think some probably wouldn't have the cahooners to talk to some people like they sometimes do if the recipient was standing in front of them.
Phil

well thats my personal rule if id say it face to face i can type it
allowe for anyone thats meet me knows that means i can type anything i want

was it bum sex?

Do we really need another thread to discuss T.C? I really don't think that's fair on Soulkiss to proliferate the discussion further and bump it back up to the top again in a new thread. Lets keep it on the topic of general forum etiquette or we may as well go back and post in the original thread.

I terms of etiquette I think there are a lot of things said rather too quickly (and too bravely) from behind a keyboard, but that said you do get snappy comments made because of a persons mood, that maybe you would have got face to face if you had caught them in person at the same time and in the same mood.

I like the pub table analogy, it's a good guide of the ideal way to behave on a forum. It is an ideal though because a pub table is a social situation in a mutual environment and the trouble with the internet is it's bringing that table into peoples homes where you are bound to find people in the wrong frame of mind from time to time.

A forum is a place for discussion and debate and that requires honesty though, and sometimes when people tell the truth as they see it, other people don't like it. The reality is the forum isn't a pub table, it's something in between that and the shouting and abusing seen sometimes in the house of commons. It's a debating chamber as much as it is a social meeting place.

A good thing GavinD posted recently was "the problem comes when people believe opinion constitutes fact". On a forum you need to read words really impartially, there is no facial expression or tone of voice, you need to read only the words and not the lines in-between them, because those additional words are implanted by you, not the poster who's post you are reading. If you've ever thrown your toys out the pram at something somebody has posted and got argumentative or defensive, go and find the thread and read it back to yourself now. You may find you made a bit of an unnecessary fuss. Three years on this forum and I'm still learning the best way to deal with people.

You've also got to allow for different types of people too. There will be people on the forum who you wouldn't choose to socialise with as friends, but that doesn't make them a bad person, they probably wouldn't want to socialise with you for the opposite reasons. "I don't like that guy, he's too direct, he's rude", may be countered by "I can't be bothered with that fanny, if he'd just come out with it and say what he means!". I've just moved down from Scotland and there is definitely a noticeable North/South divide in the UK, and then there's London, which has a character of it's own. You may notice that a lot of the more "direct" posters on the site are from the North and yes, you'd probably find they would say things to your face that would surprise you. Mods will have more experience of this and maybe one will post their opinion on it, but from my experience posts in SV Ecosse or the Pennine Massive tend to cause a lot less bother than in other parts of the site, because the posters and the readers are much more receptive to being told it straight.

So people are people, and you'll never change it, so best learn to deal with it. Everyone doesn't react in the same way, but only you control the way you react.

The bit of forum etiquette that I think is really rude, is trolling and baiting and abusiveness. If you've come on the forum just to post abuse, try to stir things up and feed a fire, or to argue with people just because you think it's a laugh and to get a reaction, then frankly you need to get a life and find something else to do for amusement.

Originally Posted by Razor

was it bum sex?

Go and type that into a search engine, it'll keep you amused for hours

[fizzwheel]

Originally Posted by -Ralph-

Do we really need another thread to discuss T.C?

No we dont.

I cant believe you guys are bickering over this cr*p again. With the greatest of respect have you got nothing better to do ?

*locked*