org opinion wanted

hhmm tough one dude.....

I have female friends and mrs D has male friends, but if things were hidden then as someone said the seed would be planted....the fact said women took partner to social club where said bloke works to meet him, in my eyes, is more hamful than good because if there was never anything to hide then the woman would have already taken the bloke to meet him, BEFORE questions were raised.

on the other hand, whatever it is they are hiding (if anything) may not be that bad, a bit of harmless flirting with someone other than your partner (even tho you would never cheat) ,IMO, can make you feel better about yourself and thus improve the relationship with your partner (if that makes sense)

these are of course only my personal views and could be completely wrong, no 2 relationships are the same, its all too easy to say "if theres no trust, theres no relationship"....which is true to an extent.....but not entirely IMO

Doesn't everyone have somethings that they keep to themselves...... things that happened in the past, mistakes made and regretted, stupid things done, etc., that would hurt a loved one if they knew?

There are things that I've done, mainly in my youth and before I met Mrs Jabba, that I keep to myself. It's my past and not part of our lives together. For example, I've never discussed old flames, etc..... most of them are still friends so, for us, it's better that way.

Just ask outright. But if there is no trust it will make the relationship very hard. God knows they are hard enough. Worse thing is to dwell on it as it will build up in your mind so either ask or forget. Cant see a problem with having friends from the opposite sex though

[ixlr8]

Depends on the usual level of intimacy and sharing in the relationship and whether the (secretive) behaviour related to this newly uncovered friendship is uncharacteristic. If so, my index of suspicion would be rapidly escalating.