Things you should never never do

Attempt to search every pocket when speeding along to check if you brought your handkerchief.

[Stingo]

Try to get your helmet on whilst still wearing your sunglasses.

Try a Valentino type dismount in a crowded biker park if the highest you normally lift your leg is for a stair.

Originally Posted by Stingo

Try to get your helmet on whilst still wearing your sunglasses.

You can do it with some open faced helmets

Sit there red faced when you just stalled at a busy set of traffic lights. Always immediately lean to start looking for a mystical mechanical problem below the tank.

Originally Posted by Peter Henry

Sit there red faced when you just stalled at a busy set of traffic lights. Always immediately lean to start looking for a mystical mechanical problem below the tank.

You're already riding one, Peter...

Try to grill a sausage using a toasting fork over the camping stove attached to your petrol tank.

Cough up/spit out a "grolly" when ridng an ST1300 Pan European.

My mate did this and the vortex caused by the screen caused said "grolly" to be sucked in behind him, whereupon it hit him on the back of the neck between jacket and helmet before sliding slowly down..................

Originally Posted by Peter Henry

...Always immediately lean to start looking for a mystical mechanical problem below the tank.

Glad it's not just me then!!!!!1!!1!!!!!ONE!!!

Never forget to perform a perfectly executed judo roll following a brief tip toe hop on right leg when attempting to ride off with disc lock still in place.