Things you should never never do

Wipe your runny nose with your gloves whilst riding along and then inadvertantly smear snot all over your visor when closing it again.

Do not remove the padding of the speed hump on your leathers and use this as a cunningly devised method of carrying home your Indian meal. Those sauces sting!

Do not use shampoo/conditioner to clean the inside of your anti-fog visor as this will remove the coating

When going on a cold weather bike weekend,it might be best to advise your friends that you have found wearing ladies tights a perfect answer to your circulation problems.

Rather that than trying to explain yourself later as your all getting ready to kip down.

Get your left lace stuck in the footpeg whilst hurredly putting the side stand down.

[Balky001]

attempted to do your chin strap up on the move wilthout slowing down - a few lacerations later you decide to pull over anyway

clean the chain whilst the bike is on a paddock stand running in first gear

Originally Posted by anna

.. sneeze whilst riding ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

Thats why i'm not riding the bike much atm, hayfever really bad this yr

Never keep both feet on foot pegs when you have come to a full stop at a junction or set of traffic lights.

Originally Posted by Jabba-the-Hutt

Cough up/spit out a "grolly" when ridng an ST1300 Pan European.

My mate did this and the vortex caused by the screen caused said "grolly" to be sucked in behind him, whereupon it hit him on the back of the neck between jacket and helmet before sliding slowly down..................

I can't get that image out of my mind now

[Balky001]

Never keep your visor cracked open at dusk, the little midges get trapped in your lid and make your face swell