Hovis and the AR and grief.

Good post there Quiff.

I mean none of this in any offensive way at all but....

I would be a little concerned if the AR turned into a weekend tribute to Hovis. I never really got to know him all that well but I will miss his amusing/argumentative posts on here for sure. Maybe if something subtle and understated is planned it would be more appropriate? I could of course be totally wrong here and it's up to the majority but if the AR turned into a huge memorial for Hovis I would not feel all that comfortable attending. Perhaps I am alone in this but I thought the AR was about the org as a whole and not just one person? I am sure we have all lost loved ones and when it is so fresh and raw it is easy to get carried away. I am all for celebrating his life but just not sure making the AR all about the little chap is the best idea as it may even alienate other members/new members who didn't know him so well.

Again, no offence meant and hope you see what I am getting at. Of course if I have misread the situation about the AR I apologise.

All the best.

Dan

[Shellywoozle]

Lovely Quiffy, wrote lovely and reading that bought a tear to my eye!

Spot on, totally agree xxxx

What a good post/thread and the Lady Di analogy is spot on. That ended up being a little OTT in places and some people look back on those events with a little embarrassment. I for one don't want that to be me with Hovis.

There will be people at the funeral (close friends, relatives) who may, despite Mrs F's stated wishes, resent the presence of bike/bikers as biking was the cause of his death.

My own view is that we have a chance to improve the image of bikes/bikers in the wider community by behaving in a respectful manner befitting of a funeral.

People handle emotional situations and funerals differently. Each to their own. I'll be the quiet one at the back, staying out of the way of Hovis' family to let them have their space.

Let rip at AR10. That's different

[gruntygiggles]

Originally Posted by -Ralph-

Absolutely, I wouldn't want to put anyone else off going, just because I don't feel it appropriate for me to do so. All I was saying about the bandwagon, was that I didn't want to be guilty of jumping on one.

Paying respects is a perfectly valid reason to go to a funeral. I don't think I've ever been to a funeral where I didn't think "who are all those people standing at the back?". At my Gran's funeral recently I had old ladies introducing themselves saying they worked with her 50 years ago and had read of her death in the newspaper announcements, and I was touched that they taken the time out of their day to be there. In fact family are usually pleased to see the number of people who turn up. Trouble is though, and I think the root of Quiff's concern, is that a lot of people arriving in a single group may risk "taking over".

Anyway, I'm not going to post any more because this really is nothing to do with me. I only posted to show how much respect I hold for Quiff for having the guts to start this thread, and explain why as a forum member for 3 years, who has spent a weekend away with Hovis recently, I wasn't going to go myself.

You know my feelings on your posts Ralph.........and I'm with you all the way

[gruntygiggles]

Just to add a bit about the funeral and AR from where I see things.

I don't care if I am half a mile down the road, stood on the pavement for the funeral. I will go to pay my respects both to David and his family. We, as a group will have other times to all get together and the funeral should never be a place to do that. There will be people going in small groups and that is fine, but it is blatantly obvious that Hovis had many many friends and so we need to remember that and take our places in the background if need be and that is what I am imagining.

+1 to Mogs on his sentiment about Daves mum having the absolute right to retract her wish of a bikers funeral. A lot can be said when emotions are high, only to be questioned in the cold light of day, so we will have to play it by ear ( I hate that saying, but it fits).

As for the AR....all the same organisers are carrying on as we were before. Dave loved AR's and as many others have said, we can't possibly know what he would have wanted as he's just not here to tell us, so to that, I WILL carry on and with the help of the people he appointed, keep the AR exactly the way we know he did want it. Simple. Yes, I will add a few touches, it would be only fitting to do that, but it is an annual rideout and so we have to keep it as such, and have a fun filled, booze fuelled weekend full of laughs and embarrasing moments just as we always do.

Think that sums it up from where I am sitting.

Well said Quiff. The funeral is a sombre affair, and we should arrive quietly, attend with heads bowed and depart quietly. It is the time to show the serious side of it, to act with decorum and respect for our fallen comrade. He didn't just belong to us, remember, and I don't want people doing stupid stuff at my funeral either.

The AR, meanwhile, is a time to remember the good times, to celebrate his life, to wear yellow or eat bread or fall off playground rides or lunge.

At the funeral, I intend to silently stand, head down, and try not to cry. Then back on my bike and ride slowly home.

I don't totally agree with all you have written Quiff and I feel I must say my bit too.

I agree with everything about the Funeral. At the end of the day it is a day to say "good-bye" to David as we have not had the chance to yet, but, more importantly it is for his family and very close friends. I am going to the funeral, but, I am not one of David's close friends (as far as I know,) so, I am going dressed smartly and will conduct myself in a manner appropriate for someone grieving the loss of a friend and wishing to give him all the dignity I can on that day. I would hope everyone else would do the same.

But, when it comes to AR10 I don't see why there shouldn't be yellow t-shirts, yellow balloons, well in fact, anything yellow!

David was trying his hardest to make AR10 the AR he wished he had been too. He enjoyed all the ones he went to, but, he talked to me about his impressions of AR9 and in his opinion it was left lacking.

So, in honour of David I am willing to do looking silly with being yellow. I don't think bread sculptures etc are quite in keeping with what he would like, but, as I said, I didn't know him that well.

I realise you are not trying to offend and neither am I, but, I think something should be done at AR10 to honour the man who was working so very hard to get it ready for everyone to enjoy.

If I have over-stepped anywhere let me know and just tell me to shut up, but, I felt I had to give my views as well

[Messie]

Originally Posted by Cymraeg_Atodeg

I don't totally agree with all you have written Quiff and I feel I must say my bit too.


But, when it comes to AR10 I don't see why there shouldn't be yellow t-shirts, yellow balloons, well in fact, anything yellow!

David was trying his hardest to make AR10 the AR he wished he had been too. He enjoyed all the ones he went to, but, he talked to me about his impressions of AR9 and in his opinion it was left lacking.

So, in honour of David I am willing to do looking silly with being yellow. I don't think bread sculptures etc are quite in keeping with what he would like, but, as I said, I didn't know him that well.

I realise you are not trying to offend and neither am I, but, I think something should be done at AR10 to honour the man who was working so very hard to get it ready for everyone to enjoy.

If I have over-stepped anywhere let me know and just tell me to shut up, but, I felt I had to give my views as well

Not what he told me during and after the event. Did you go?

What he told me was that he felt it was good and wanted to do his bit (with GG) to make next year's even better. I'm certain it will be.

Originally Posted by Messie

Not what he told me during and after the event. Did you go?

What he told me was that he felt it was good and wanted to do his bit (with GG) to make next year's even better. I'm certain it will be.

I retract my comment upon guidence

[gruntygiggles]

Originally Posted by Messie

Not what he told me during and after the event. Did you go?

What he told me was that he felt it was good and wanted to do his bit (with GG) to make next year's even better. I'm certain it will be.

Sally, he absolutely loved AR09.....as is so evident in all the pics and in all the PMs I've had from him about AR10. If you want/need to see any to know what he said, let me know and I'll PM them to you.

Cwmraeg_Atodeg...........see you tomorrow night, glad to be making friends with you x