Nudist BBQ.* UPDATED*

But I am not going to be wearing a Ulster, below the waste disguise am I? I am gonna be me....and I mean ALL me..Yer know what I'm saying ladeeees?

[Biker Biggles]

As long as one of them gets the point who cares? :P

In fact Ulster reminds me of when I joined the Ballet class at school. As a 13 year old I thought it was a great way to get a little closer to Jennifer Ashton,(she was hot...the first girl in our year to wear TIGHTS! How good was that? )

Anyway a couple of minutes in to the first class and there's me dressed like Rudolf Nuryev and Miss Sharples bellowed out from the front...

"Peter Henry what on earth have you got in there?" she was under the impression I was messing around and maybe stuffed a pair of footie socks down the front of my strides.

A little embarassed i replied..."You dont want to Know Miss, honestly."

"Nonsense boy, bring it hear this instant!"

Well from that day on Miss Sharples had something of a soft spot for me....for some peculiar reason!

Originally Posted by Peter Henry

In fact Ulster reminds me of when I joined the Ballet class at school. As a 13 year old I thought it was a great way to get a little closer to Jennifer Ashton,(she was hot...the first girl in our year to wear TIGHTS! How good was that? )

Anyway a couple of minutes in to the first class and there's me dressed like Rudolf Nuryev and Miss Sharples bellowed out from the front...

"Peter Henry what on earth have you got in there?" she was under the impression I was messing around and maybe stuffed a pair of footie socks down the front of my strides.

A little embarassed i replied..."You dont want to Know Miss, honestly."

"Nonsense boy, bring it hear this instant!"

I then walked over to Miss Sharples, slipped my hands down my tights, and showed her the cucumber my mother packed with my lunch that morning. I told Miss Sharples that I had brought the cucumber to class for her, as there were no apples in the fruit bowl at home that morning. When asked why I chose to store it in that particular region, I explained to her that as my attire was rather lacking in storage space, I had to keep it in the one place I knew there would be plenty of room. With a look of pity on her face (at the time I was too young to understand why), she smiled and said the cucumber would be a nice change from the usual apple she regularly received from the other pupils.

Well from that day on Miss Sharples had something of a soft spot for me....for some peculiar reason!

Poor old Ulster...the only guy I know that gets pangs of inadequacy when sat down for Christmas dinner and the cihpolatas are brought to the table. :P

But nay we digress....was only thinking.....will this be a "smooth" gathering? Will I have to go through the pleasure of waxing everywhere? And I mean everywhere sister's?

Originally Posted by Peter Henry

Well summer is really kicking over here right now and so the social season has begun to get underway.

Some rather wealthy friends who own a spectacular villa have invited us to attend a pool side BBQ next weekend. The only possible draw back is that it is a err hum naturist affair.

Apart from getting one's "things" too close to the burning embers is there anything else I should consider before accepting? Baring in mind there are likely to be a large number of extremely attractive females in attendance also?

Your suggestions and guidance would be greatly appreciated.

A BBQ with Bill Oddie and David Attenborough? Are you mad!

Dan

Sudoxe....When it comes to the wealth question...your two boys haven't got a tiny stick between them to wave at my boy!$$$$$$$

Originally Posted by Peter Henry

Poor old Ulster...the only guy I know that gets pangs of inadequacy when sat down for Christmas dinner and the cihpolatas are brought to the table. :P

This reminds me of last Christmas when a relative commented on how big the meat was. Instinctively I replied, "Why, thankyou".

An awkward moment, indeed.

Up until today I didn't think any one thread could ever contain so much innuendo...

MAN was I wrong...