Do you get angry

im not talking in general like when you cut urself, but when u feel like you have done something fundamentally idiotic u will neve be able to sort it out?.

plenty of stuff challenges me in life, like everyone, but i hate making mistakes, especially ones that are iraversable?

so can you just forget and move on regardles of what it is?

Or will you beat urself up for ever?

its 02.22 and im thoughtfull

Urs, curious of leeds...

I know where you're coming from. I used to be like that. I was a terrible one for regretting things and getting myself really worked up about it. Now I don't regret a damn thing. What's the point? You do what you do at the time because something told you it was the right thing to do. IMO, to regret things is to regret the decision you made and by doing that you are regretting your very thoughts and feelings.

**** happens. If you ****ed up but have the chance to put it right and you want to put it right, then do so. If you can't put it right or don't want to put it right, put it behind you and move on mate!!

And yet again I'm awake to the wee small hours

I just had a fairly unpleasant event to try and work out so, like everyone, I have an idea of the hopeless re-running feeling you have.

What's happened is past tense. There are things that you can patch up, and there are things that you can not.
You have to figure out if you can patch any of the situation you are now in and dont like.

If patching is possible, then figure out if it is worthwhile doing.

Regardless of what you decide to do, there is something that happens that you have no control over, ie that it changes you.

How much it changes you, or in what way you decide. But you are changed.

[pegasus]

i used to beat myself up pretty badly over things i regretted doing, but i think as you get older the regret turns into "what if's" what i mean is would your life be necesarilly better if you had taken a different path at a certain time, its all a learning curve and if we never made questionable decisions then we would never learn...think of the chinese yin and yang theory every black has a white and vice versa etc.

questioning your motives and intentions is not a bad thing, even after the fact.

of course this is only my humblest of opinions

one more thing, i kinda feel that any decision made will ultimately affect someone else as well, and you need to question wether or not this is what you are trying to achieve.

chin up fella

[Speedy]

Hmmmm,depends really what I've made my decision about and on what grounds....generally though,yes,I get angry with myself,and either get wasted for a while or just ride it out on my bike,trouble with that though was I ended up taking serious risks.

BUT time is a great healer,eventually whatever initially causes so much pain and hurt DOES turn from a great big Dagger in your heart/pride to a tiny itch,that you end up scratching from time to time,and then forgetting for a while..........the itch will always be there,sometimes you will notice it,others you wont.

LOADS of things I regret doing in my 27 years,LOADS of things I dont regret!

E.g. I split up with my Ex a year ago in May,Now,I REALLY regret the fact that we broke up,BUT we broke up because I was standing up for myself (She was spending more time with her MALE friends than me,I got the ump and threw a wobbler!)I DONT regret the fact that I DID stand up for myself!
I tried to get back with her ever since,until 2 months ago,when I gave up,now moving on,I DO regret wasting my time trying,but there you go!

I have good days and bad days with my feelings for her,but I'm not waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep anymore!

TIME is working!

Chin up mate!

Originally Posted by 454697819

but when u feel like you have done something fundamentally idiotic u will neve be able to sort it out?.

I don't think there's any such thing. If it's broken offer to fix it or pay. Apologise for a slight to someone and work to make it right. Basically if you stand up and take it on the chin you can fix anything.

I could be talking out of my @rse, but trust me I've fooked my life up more than most. Including going out the window while the law are kicking the front door in, long story.
Everybody is still talking to me, except for those that have passed on...

Well I know it's cheesy but time is a great healer and it is so true. I have done stuff in the past that I have deeply regreted that I would only divulge to my bestest friend.

I thought I would never get over it. Spent a great deal of time on my own going over what I'd done and how stupid I had been and how many people I had hurt. It is now just a bad memory that may pop into my mind for a split second and I don't feel that guilt or anger or stupidity any more.

I understand where you're coming from m8 and that horrible angry and regretful feeling is not at all pleasant, but believe me, it will feel better. You'll find you can move on eventually and just put it down to life experience.

Chin up m8, you'll be fine, you see

Speedy you must've had it bad for her!

Regret is a word in a dictionary.

I beg to differ Razor, there are things that are unfixable - the lost of a life being one. But a moment for regret - no.

Memories - yes, but not regret.

To regret something is to refuse to acknowledge who you are. Everything you say and do has got you to this singular point in time. Do you like who you are now? If so then you have nothing to regret. Easy to say, hard to do - but it is true.

If you don't like yourself then you have the capacity for change. It's a wonderful thing that is pretty much unique to humans so enjoy it.
Still, there is no cause for regret - it's all part of the journey and if you can better yourself then you can be proud of who you are.

There are things that you could not have helped, some that you did because it was right at the time but in hindsight was stupid - then there are those things that you do deliberately, despite knowing what the consequences will be, whether out of fear, anger, pain or malicious intent.
But as long as you eventually learn from such experiences, you should leave regret where it belongs - in a dictionary.

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by UlsterSV

Speedy you must've had it bad for her!

Yes,I did,(still do I spose! ),it's even harder because she has a little girl,unfortunately not by me,when we got together her daughter was still a baby,I used to get up to her in the night and feed her or just give her a cuddle to settle her down again,she has grown so quickly and there was such a strong bond between us,she knew exactly who I was after not seeing me for over 3 months!
So all that cuts deep!

Yep,I really loved them both,even proposed to Ex!

But hey ho,It's good to talk about it,and I AM getting over it,like I said time is a great healer!