So then...Tips for moving in with the girlfriend

[Viney]

This weekend, im doing it. Yep, that thing thats comes to every man at some point in thier life, dun dun daaaaaa, Moving in with the girlfriend

Come on chaps, scare me...what SHOULD i know about this? Nay advice/tips/warnings etc

you'll doubtless argue like cat and dog for the first 6 months, all part of the settling in "getting to know you" type thing. ride with it, pardon the pun, it'll all be worth it in the end

you should always bring her flowers, she should always buy you beer - or whatever's you pleasure - you should have sole control of any wireless devices which control the television.

she must always:-

cook
iron
clean
garden
be submissive at all times

you may pay attention to the first paragraph only.

Things you SHOULD do:
Your fair share of the cooking & cleaning
Any/All DIY (unless of course she’s a builder!?)
Tell her you love her … frequently.


Things you SHOULD NOT do:
Reduce her wardrobe space with your “old tat” :P
Tell her you expect your tea on the table when you get home from work (ouch!).
Tell her you “don’t mind a bit of blood sports”
Leave all your dirty clothes, and wet bike gear laying around the place.
Tell her that her bum really does look big in that.


Things you SHOULD TAKE WITH YOU:
A bucket full of patience and understanding.
The ability to bite your tongue (i.e. not to say exactly what you’re thinking!)
The ability to say you’re sorry (even when you think you are right).


Things you SHOULD NOT TAKE WITH YOU:
Photo album containing photos of you with each of your ex’s!
Any “little black book” you may have.

Some of this is from experience … some of it is there “just for fun”.
I’ll leave you to work out which is which

1. Put your clothes away after they've been washed.
2. Do not hang your undercracks on the bedroom door-knob.
3. Put all your personal possessions in a one pile when you move in - she will put them where she thinks they should go.
4. Do not attempt to give your own photos pride of place on the mantlepiece.
5. Do not complain about the phone bills - fact of life when there's a female in the house. Live with it.
6. DO NOT, under any circumstances "Dutch Oven*" her. Ever.


Good luck to you both, I know you'll be very happy together


* Dutch Oven:
Bloke farts under the duvet then shoves partner's head under it to give her the benefit.

[G]

If your at all unsure then dont bother ....

hide your porn..........

REALLY Well............

hi vern.....................

When you are asked to help with the household chores Don,t reply
'listen love, you don,t buy a dog and bark yourself !' I tried it once, it doesnt work

Remember to baptise every room Twice

Dont ever let her catch you chewing your toe nails.

Leaving a calling card after sitting on the loo is not advisable.

Offering to help with menial tasks around the love nest is to be recommended if "slap and tickle" privileges are to be maintained.

Absent mindedly picking your nose at the dinner table is to be avoided at all times.

You must commit to s*x on a regular basis whether you want it or not.

HTH.

[Viney]

LOL, these are all good, keep em coming.

Would be good to hear a womans perspective