Obituary

An Obituary printed in the London Times....


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by specialone

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

All illigitimate by different fathers.

Plus the cousin 'I'm entitled to that'

unfortunatly this is an old obituary
it happened years ago

[ogden]

"The London Times" ?

I'm guessing this is a copy/paste job from somewhere full of yanks.

Dunno, I copied and pasted from the email that was sent to me.

[andrewsmith]

Originally Posted by davepreston

unfortunatly this is an old obituary
it happened years ago

About 1993? if not a lot earlier

82c is a bloody hot coffee though lol.

[andrewsmith]

True but that was in the states where its legal to sue yourself

And third degree burns are pretty severe by any measure - reading into the detail, I'd say the coffee case had merit (it was apparently served 15C hotter than other outlets).

what, does their water boil at a lower temp