org cheer me up

[Wideboy]

how do you turn a duck in to a soul singer?


stick it in the microwave till its bill withers

[Richie]

The other morning I took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the hell?" I said to myself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when I shook them out. "April," I hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She shot back: "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."

This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."

The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"

The guy says "I mount animals."

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"


A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

"That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer. "Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI4xVeRjunk

Dave if u want cheering up go to my last day in the RAF thread page 1 and see me dressed as a gay bobslayer/brittney spears...

yea seen it earlier ,how many numbers did ya get with that outfit

None funnily enough. Got in a few fights though, god knows why, some men just seemed to take offence. I have a habbit of wandering off drunk and probably looked a bit odd by myself...

[Jayneflakes]

Have a big hug from me, I am good at cheering people up, I listen to them, I give them a shoulder to cry on, I make them a cuppa and give them a biscuit, I let them feel safe to say what they fear saying and if that fails to cheer them up, I show them my ****! Works every time...

Err I need cheering up too, and I don't like tea or biscuits!

I got 3 points and a £60 fine today if that cheers you up ........ 89 mph average up Rhuallt Hill with a Pillion ....... Fair Cop Guvnah.