Sodding Familly....& Wedding

Originally Posted by Tara

Hey Alex thats a difficult situation to be in. But i'm with Lozzo .

I bet you feel all dirty after posting that - time for a cold shower with a breeze block for soap

Difficult situation and my wifes family arguments is precisely why I f****ed off to the Dominican Republic to get married. Can't be much help I'm afraid, nor can anyone else on this forum, a useful answer would require knowledge of the personalities involved.

ok i've never even been to a wedding so not sure if this is a silly idea but couldn't you just get a bigger table so everyone can sit around it?

sorry if someone has suggested it, or theres reasons why you can't.

Originally Posted by GeneticBubble

ok i've never even been to a wedding so not sure if this is a silly idea but couldn't you just get a bigger table so everyone can sit around it?

sorry if someone has suggested it, or theres reasons why you can't.

yes we can but the point of the top table is parents of the bride and groom, she is not my parent and never has been she is only in our familly because she is married to my dad.

IMO you should put your foot down and say "P*** off this is our day not yours, you only have to be social for 2 hours."

Was what my works dad did. He told his parents to grin and bare it for him and they did. Your all adults to get on and do what you want.

IMO don't get married but if it's what you want they should all respect that.

Remember you don't have to have a top table at all.
the bridal party can mingle with other on the table - have seen it done before and worked really well
but having asked round the office ( we have a colleague or two getting married)
and this
'yes we can but the point of the top table is parents of the bride and groom, she is not my parent and never has been she is only in our familly because she is married to my dad. '

the consensus is

talk to Kitten its a big deal to her
then mum and dad only at the top table and they can like or lump its - for the reception they can sit together once the meal is over. You have ensured that she's not alone and with people she knows. Its your day and don't let anyone ruin for you

Gd luck you two

Originally Posted by Quedos

Remember you don't have to have a top table at all.
the bridal party can mingle with other on the table - have seen it done before and worked really well
but having asked round the office ( we have a colleague or two getting married)
and this
'yes we can but the point of the top table is parents of the bride and groom, she is not my parent and never has been she is only in our familly because she is married to my dad. '

the consensus is

talk to Kitten its a big deal to her
then mum and dad only at the top table and they can like or lump its - for the reception they can sit together once the meal is over. You have ensured that she's not alone and with people she knows. Its your day and don't let anyone ruin for you

Gd luck you two

thanks for the comments, I have talked to kitten and whislt we want to tell them that they have been extremley rude for asking what they have asked, kitten knows it is very important to me to have my dad on the top table, if that comes with the catch that his new wife has to be there too, then she is ok with it.

We toyed with the idea of not having a top table at all, and each of the parents and us host a table, we liked the idea to an extent but this then angered catherines mum as she said, "so because his dad doesnt want to be seperated for an hour or two we dont ge tto sit at the top table at our daughters wedding!" oh ****.. back to the start.

We have managed to come up with a seating plan that "works" and will enable me to throw evils when needed.

I now give up and add "weddings" to the list of things never to do again, (the plan is to never need to but you know what I mean)...

Personally I'd have biological parents only... The rest of them can lump it.
If your dad chooses to sit else where then so be it, I know how it must feel wanting him there.
It is your wedding day, Kitten's big day - everyone should be focussed on making you two happy, and not who's sitting where.

Another option - that may cause issue - is to have a 2nd top table. So at the top table you and the mrs, bridesmaids best man then at the next table have parents...

I've no idea baout your venue - if that would work etc, but as a wedding planner i used to deal with this crap all the time...
I hope you work something out

[dizzyblonde]

I went to a wedding at the beginning of June and the couple were in their 50s never been married. Sid didn't have parents(well I can't remember seeing them at least) and Vals mother died years ago(think her dad did too) she had an adoptive mum instead. The family thing was a little bit complicated.Their various tables were set as music genres(Sid owns a record shop) and everybody was mixed up.


The only people to sit on the 'top table' were the bride, the groom, the best man, and the sister/best friend? who gave val away. Various family members were all mixed up with all the other guests, so I think it worked well, as no chance for arguements why/who was sat where.

We didn't have a top table for exatley this reason (and to be honset my misses oldies had been split for 20 years )

i think you normally sacrifice enough during the planning ie every one likes the idea of a small wedding till oldies get involved