Fallout's New Model Britain!

[Spank86]

I do, I can't eat that much cake. It takes up valuable beer room.

[Thunderace]

Transport Minister, do you disagree with any of the above policies?

I cant say I'm against any rebel policy as such, but the fact they wish to break away from the New Model Britain deserves to be dealt with swiftly

Not at all but we cant be seen to side with the enemy, as politicians we must remember to let our adversaries make their policies and if the're good, shout them down until they give up then reinstate the policy as one of our own!

[DJ123]

our party is far larger than that of the opposition already

[Thunderace]

Your misunderstanding the point of this, it is not a democracy, we must crush any and all thought of opposition!

[DJ123]

Do we have a Home Secretary yet?

[Thunderace]

Do we have a Home Secretary yet?

No volunteers so far!

[DJ123]

Why not?! Surely the Minister of Sustainability should review this. How can we be sustainable if opposition is allowed to exist?

[Mark_h]

Your misunderstanding the point of this, it is not a democracy, we must crush any and all thought of opposition!

From a sustainability perspective, this is not a long-term solution. I mentioned earlier we should consider a slightly more Buddhist and slightly less Fascist manifesto. More carrot, less stick. If we make it a nice place to be people will want to be here. By seeding the populous with "on message" vibes we can win them over with peace and love (of the non-bovine kind).

I think we may need to keep a discrete eye on Daddyjob though as he is showing signs of uncertainty and may need a spell in the PUB. Maybe he could be "adjusted" in Bodmin although he may be distracted given the significant dairy farming activity down that way.

[Thunderace]

As Transport Minister I will keep the Road Safety Minister away from any afore mentioned bovine activities and also make sure he spends an appropriate amount of time in the pub.;)

First round from the road safety budget!:smt040

Also to follow the more Zen party line, I shall be removing my fairing to make sure I kill as few flying beasties as possible!

[DJ123]

I have found said local pub, however i fear it will be full of locals and we will be outcast. There is a Spar next door where we can stock up on cans.
I think we need campsite activities-swingball, frisbee, Cricket and other such fun

[Thunderace]

I have found said local pub, however i fear it will be full of locals and we will be outcast. There is a Spar next door where we can stock up on cans.
I think we need campsite activities-swingball, frisbee, Cricket and other such fun

Drink while you think, pink elephants and fuzzy duck will provide much merriment and hilarity!:smt030:smt041

[Wideboy]

Something for the minister of transport to consider.......

If you get into lane to leave the motorway after the half mile marker then you are to have you numberplate put on a database to be pulled over ASAP and given the options of either being banned from the road for 5 years or have a sledge hammer put to your little finger (their decision), failure to comply will result in being forcibly removed from existence via laser guided rocket. If you're an audi driver your airbag will be removed on purchase of the car and replaced with a shotgun, you have no warning or options and if you do it its instant death.

Push bike riders who want to ride on the road must have insurance and wear a fluorescent bib with writing on the back saying "I'm straight but secretly I admire the male physique and love not being first in a race you I can look at man a55" failure to comply will result in instant 50. Cal to the head. Cyclists that ignore cycle lanes and still ride on the road should be rammed.

[Fallout]

I second those policies, although bike riders should be allowed to exit motorways at the last minute, cutting across all lanes on full throttle.

[Wideboy]

Yes, I also propose cars are to be banned from the roads at weekends and all new riders are banned from weekends also.... this will stop people doing their test just to get around the new law

[dizzyblonde]

You need an agriculture secretary. Someone who can really find a use for Harley Davidson's. I could do with a few tractors to plough my allotment ;)

[Fallout]

Are you offering Dizz?

[dizzyblonde]

Yes.
But only if I get to whip fat hairy blokes with my red riding crop, hard on the ass. Punishment for wearing Assless chaps and riding tractors!

Actually they'd like it, make em work harder for their reward ;)

[dirtydog]

So what position in the new government do I get then?

[Fallout]

Everyone say 'Aye' if they agree Dizz for Secretary of Agriculture.

Dawwwg, you need to suggest a position for yourself. It must come from the heart.

[Mark_h]

Everyone say 'Aye' if they agree Dizz for Secretary of Agriculture. .
Hmmmm. Need to contain the growth of cabinet. Agriculture should be part of MAFFABB (Ministry of Agriculture, Fishary, Foods and Bacon Butties) which leaves us in a slight dillema.

Ministry of cakes should really be an office within MAFFABB to ensure sustainability across all food-stuffs rather than singling out cakes.

I also note that the other 50% of our lady members are technically incumbent in the role. I propose paddling pool, jelly, baying mob and survival of the slipperyest.


Dawwwg, you need to suggest a position for yourself. It must come from the heart.

DD. suggest you review all GM posts for last month to see where we are deficient. however ...
XCA -1 Credit Dirtydog for not moderating some of the less sustainable threads recently

XCA -10 Credit Dirtyddog (suspended) to be invoked if any posts from Ministry of sustainability are moderated leading to immediate move to the PUB and reversal of actions... can you see what I've done there... smart eh!

[dizzyblonde]

I'm afraid I'd turn a paddling pool into a mudbath......dirty girl, fresh from a good workout on the allotment,akthough my rippling biceps would look great in baby oil






Would divert the eyes away from cake induced jelly belly ;)

[Thunderace]

Something for the minister of transport to consider.......

If you get into lane to leave the motorway after the half mile marker then you are to have you numberplate put on a database to be pulled over ASAP and given the options of either being banned from the road for 5 years or have a sledge hammer put to your little finger (their decision), failure to comply will result in being forcibly removed from existence via laser guided rocket. If you're an audi driver your airbag will be removed on purchase of the car and replaced with a shotgun, you have no warning or options and if you do it its instant death.

Push bike riders who want to ride on the road must have insurance and wear a fluorescent bib with writing on the back saying "I'm straight but secretly I admire the male physique and love not being first in a race you I can look at man a55" failure to comply will result in instant 50. Cal to the head. Cyclists that ignore cycle lanes and still ride on the road should be rammed.

Excellent points that shall be entered in the next policy amendment.

I second those policies, although bike riders should be allowed to exit motorways at the last minute, cutting across all lanes on full throttle.

Excellent points that shall be entered in the next policy amendment.

Yes, I also propose cars are to be banned from the roads at weekends and all new riders are banned from weekends also.... this will stop people doing their test just to get around the new law

Excellent points that shall be entered in the next policy amendment.

Everyone say 'Aye' if they agree Dizz for Secretary of Agriculture.

Dawwwg, you need to suggest a position for yourself. It must come from the heart.

Aye.

[Thunderace]

So what position in the new government do I get then?

I say Chief Whip, so you can keep us towing the party line!;)

[dirtydog]

Well seeing as there seems to be an opening for home secretary, I nominate myself for that role

[Mark_h]

Well seeing as there seems to be an opening for home secretary, I nominate myself for that role

Qualifications, policy statement etc required to support application. Remember you are an unknown quantity to most of the currently active members.

[Cymraeg_Atodeg]

As I seem to be hanging about in this area and with my wealth of knowledge on the subject can I be Secretary of State for Wales? If not is the position for Energy and Climate Change avaliable?

[Spank86]

I believe wales would properly be the responsibility of the colonial office.

[dirtydog]

As home secretary I will be in charge of
policing, crime and prison services,
citizenship and passports
Terrorism and national security.

1, Policing crime and prison policy: more traffic police (bear with me on this for a moment) with the onus on stopping the middle lane hoggers, indecisive dawdlers and generally people who hold up the traffic and to enforce the transport ministers new minimum and maximum speed limits. Arrest the general low life scum/chavs/cyclists and transport them to the Spectrum for holding as zombie bait.
Prisoners will have all their sentences review and an appropriate punishment will served on them i.e tax evaders etc will have their assets seized by the goverment and used to fund the tarmacing of railway lines etc, Sex offenders will be placed in mainstream prisons. This serves two reasons, first being they wont last long there and secondly this will reduce the prison population and thus save the government money which can be redirected to the transport budget to fund road repairs etc

2, Citizenship and passports: Anyone caught whinging about the new government, its policies or its laws will be stripped of their passports and citizenship and sent of to other countries.

3, terrorism will be dealt with swiftly and harshly

[Fallout]

I'm fine with that, except the sex offenders bit. I need to plan for things I may do in the future.

[dirtydog]

You're part of the government it will be swept under the carpet

[Wideboy]

I'm liking those policies and fallouts cottaging will go unnoticed

[widepants]

You're part of the government it will be swept under the carpet
thats an in from me , as long as I can legally moon all traffic nazis that wont tow the party line

[Fallout]

So long as it does go unnoticed and any playground visits show me in a good light, I say aye to all policies.

[Thunderace]

Transport Ministers 4th policy amendment;

Not so much no speed limit, just get rid of 30 and below, 40 for built up areas, extremely loud exhausts for everyone to let the kiddies know to stay off the road, national speed limit set to 120 with a minimum speed of 90 on dual carriageways and motorways, punishable by death to all those Sunday drivers!
And bus lanes resurfaced and re-named racing lanes, and all forms of mass transit to be melted down and recycled into after market bits and bobs, train tracks to be removed and tarmacked for use by bikes only, all HGV's banned from minor roads!

The train track thing is aimed at those like me who relish the opportunity to max out your bike from time to time, most of you lot have seen me try and corners keep getting in the way!

One train and one track shall be kept (location to be confirmed) so any fat person wearing Lycra can be tied to the back and be made to run or be dragged behind it! If there is any doubt as to whether someone is fat, please see the Minister for Sustainability as he is the threshold from which to be judged, as and when we find a Minister for Sport I will consult them and amend my policy accordingly!

All cyclists over 17 will be rounded up and brought to Guildford, where they will be sealed in the Spectrum for safe keeping, they will have facilities to keep fit and in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse will be used as bait to facilitate our escape!

If you get into lane to leave the motorway after the half mile marker then you are to have you numberplate put on a database to be pulled over ASAP and given the options of either being banned from the road for 5 years or have a sledge hammer put to your little finger (their decision), failure to comply will result in being forcibly removed from existence via laser guided rocket, although bikers should be allowed to exit motorways at the last minute, cutting across all lanes on full throttle.. If you're an audi driver your airbag will be removed on purchase of the car and replaced with a shotgun, you have no warning or options and if you do it its instant death.

I also propose cars are to be banned from the roads at weekends.

[Wideboy]

here here!

[Thunderace]

To the Cabinet;

As you may be aware the automotive situation in the West Country is pretty dire, so in an attempt to remedy this and spread the word for the New Model Britain, my self, the Road Safety Minister, the Minister for Roadside Recovery and Tractor Tom, are embarking on a campaign to "press the flesh" of the local inhabitants and hopefully convert them from tractor driving yokels, into hardcore bikers!

Will be posting our report upon our return on Sunday!

Yours Faithfully,

Transport Minister.

[DJ123]

Personally, i think we should test their roads. If deemed great for bikers, i vote that the GM area is expanded and we claim the area/roads as our own.

[Mark_h]

I assume that as Tractor Tom is too young to vote he must be the Intern. Tom, If Daddyjob starts leering at you while holding a Cigar, try Mooing.

Good luck educating the bumpkins. Maybe the MAFFABB will draft some policy documentation that will excite the locals.

[Thunderace]

Motion Seconded!:smt040

[Mark_h]

Personally, i think we should test their roads. If deemed great for bikers, i vote that the GM area is expanded and we claim the area/roads as our own.

As a general rule North/South roads are better than East/West and much quieter too

[DJ123]

The problem with the roads in the north, is northerners ;) With the new weekend sanctions in place the roads should be quiet everywhere.

[widepants]

Personally, i think we should test their roads. If deemed great for bikers, i vote that the GM area is expanded and we claim the area/roads as our own.
oi , anymore of that talk and you'll be looking at a coup:smt072

[Tomor]

I would like to put myself forward for the position of Agricultural Minister. I believe i have the necessary skills and the recent experience to fulfil my role adequately.

Thanks

Tractor Tom

[Fallout]

+1. He knows how to drive slow and **** off everyone behind him.

[Mark_h]

I would like to put myself forward for the position of Agricultural Minister. I believe i have the necessary skills and the recent experience to fulfil my role adequately.

Thanks

Tractor Tom

3 way competition paddling pool, jelly, baying mob etc. Agriculture is a function of the MAFFABB. Is Tom old enough to partake in the selection process?

[Mark_h]

The problem with the roads in the north, is northerners ;) With the new weekend sanctions in place the roads should be quiet everywhere.

I'm talking Cornish Peninsular rather than nationally.

[Thunderace]

I would like to put myself forward for the position of Agricultural Minister. I believe i have the necessary skills and the recent experience to fulfil my role adequately.

Thanks

Tractor Tom

+2

[Thunderace]

To the Cabinet,

After the official visit to the West Country by myself, the Road Safety Minister, the Minister for Roadside Recovery and Tractor Tom, it has been found that we are missing a real treat!
To that end we have decided that the County currently called Cornwall shall be annexed and re-named Guildford West, this is because we feel the awesomeness of the B-roads in that region are being wasted on the Yokels and should therefore be for the soul use of the New Model Britain administration!
The only way to ensure we don't get disturbed whilst swooping round the B-road awesomeness, is to remove all the Cider swilling cousin lovers and have them also sent to the spectrum with the cyclists to aid the evacuation effort in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse!

That is of course not including Granddad as I'm led to believe he lives in Guildford West, and he will not be moved as long as he doesn't drive on Sundays!

Yours Faithfully,

The Minister for Transport.

[The Idle Biker]

Urgent Memo! Calling Mr Prime President.

I am in Cornwall conducting Sex research.

I believe Newquay has been affected by an epidemic of camel toes and leggings.

Who is the health minister, who do I inform?

Urgent!!

[Fallout]

@TIB - I think you may have to deal with this one yourself. If you could just clean it up in whichever you see fit, it will be appreciated by all.

[Wideboy]

I would say as education minister it would be my responsibility to teach them sex education. This would decrease genetic line mutations as I would explain about marrying into the family. However, I'm afraid if I told them how to do it, it would increase pregnancies as currently they believe ear intercourse is the way to do it.

[Thunderace]

To The Cabinet,

I will be away for the next week to survey the situation in the North East, could the Cabinet please have some troops mobilized for my return as I feel I already know the results of the survey. The usual drill, we will annex any decent tarmac and designate it Guildford North. Also removing the intolerable locals, the non argumentative ones will be allowed to stay.

Yours Faithfully,

Transport Minister.

[Bordtea]

Viva la revolution

[Spank86]

that should either be "viva la revolucion"

or "vive la revolution"

(accents not withstanding)


You lot really need to decide between spanish and french, its very confusing to mix the two.

[Fallout]

Merde! Hush Sie Ihren Mund, puto!

[Spank86]

It's like hanging around with Ian Dury sometimes...



In so many ways.

[Sir Trev]

It's like hanging around with Ian Dury sometimes...



In so many ways.

Has Fallout got a shop selling *cough* deactivated ABC robots frequented by Judge Dredd's relatives then?




yes, yes, yes... It was a rubbish film but it had a couple of nice cameos in it as well as a hopeless main character portrayal.

[Thunderace]

Departing for the North East in the morning, don't let the New Model fall apart without me!:rolleyes:

[andrewsmith]

Departing for the North East in the morning, don't let the New Model fall apart without me!:rolleyes:

We have currently got your minister captured! :smt117
He was intercepted around Hull when we identified a very posh car on the M1!

We have him in a secure location and awaiting our lead interrogator to arrive with beer, brandy, vodka and 300 JPS blue

[DJ123]

In light of new college course, i feel that i would be better suited as the Minister of Finance

[andrewsmith]

In light of new college course, i feel that i would be better suited as the Minister of Finance

So shall make a hash of it and blame the previous administration

[DJ123]

no, i'll fix it ;) and then sort out the economy . . . . . . . . . :lol:

[ClunkintheUK]

Can I put myself forward for minister for Upholstery and Semi-Human livestock.

These are very much linked departments. Upholstery is primarily carpets and rugs, though other things will be considered. These be used for sweep things under. Given the already sizeable cabinet i envisage this to be a large department so will need a large team of very junior minions, er I mean Ministers.

This brings me onto the semi-human livestock, for these I suggest Audi Drivers and anyone working for a major Minicab firm with the initial AL. The apparent responsibility will make it easy to round them all up so they can be used as scapegoats, as and when their sweeping under the carpet skills are found insufficient.

[Thunderace]

To the Cabinet,

Just arrived back from my survey of the North East and can confirm that North Yorkshire and Northumberland will be annexed and renamed Guildford North. If the local populace find this not to their liking, they shouldn't have draped those astounding ribbons of tarmac all over the countryside.

In addition on the return journey today we had to abandon our fantastic motorway network as the M25 was doing a sterling impression of a car park, and we found some roads between Leighton Buzzard and Maidenhead that need a thorough Cabinet inspection as they look superb for riding but this was observed whilst driving a Transit van so the quality of said tarmac may not be as good as it looked at the time. (and before anyone chirps up "Leighton Buzzard that's nowhere near the M25, one of our geeks checked the traffic flow on his ipad so we jumped off the M1 at Milton Keynes and went cross country).

Your Faithfully,

Transport Minister.

[andrewsmith]

Dear Transport Minister

Oh yee of little viewing. You have just arrived back ahead of our invasion force here to steal your road surface

[Thunderace]

Dear Transport Minister

Oh yee of little viewing. You have just arrived back ahead of our invasion force here to steal your road surface

You must of missed that one, there are several thousand dead Northeners buried just off the M1, we were waiting for them!:D

[andrewsmith]

You must of missed that one, there are several thousand dead Northeners buried just off the M1, we were waiting for them!:D

they were your invasion party

[Thunderace]

they were your invasion party

Methinks you misunderstand!:smt018

[andrewsmith]

Methinks you misunderstand!:smt018

You misunderstand. :smt082
We hijacked your invasion party as we needed fuel and nicked your kit and clothes too

[Thunderace]

You misunderstand. :smt082
We hijacked your invasion party as we needed fuel and nicked your kit and clothes too

Latest reports are they were contacted by some yokels with pitchforks that were dispatched post haste, and that one babbling with madness was released to tell of the demise, maybe you need to check your sources?:rolleyes:

[Thunderace]

To The Cabinet,

After returning from up North I have decided to return there tomorrow with a small force and some EW & ECM equipment to disrupt the infrastructure and aid the annexation, I hope this meets with approval.

Yours Faithfully,

Transport Minister.

[andrewsmith]

theres nothing left. The Londoners have dealt with us

http://thewe.cc/thewei/&/&/images4/photos/nagasaki_view.jpe

[The Idle Biker]

theres nothing left. The Londoners have dealt with us

http://thewe.cc/thewei/&/&/images4/photos/nagasaki_view.jpe

This is how I thought the North looked anyway. Have we wasted our money?

[andrewsmith]

This is how I thought the North looked anyway. Have we wasted our money?

Yes!!

Yes you have.

[Spank86]

To The Cabinet,

After returning from up North I have decided to return there tomorrow with a small force and some EW & ECM equipment to disrupt the infrastructure and aid the annexation, I hope this meets with approval.

Yours Faithfully,

Transport Minister.

I'm not sure it's worth it, I understand they've only got a couple of spectrum ZX's and an old BBC they nicked of some holidaying southerners back in the 80's and TBH having them sit and wait for the loading screens has halved the crime rate.

[The Idle Biker]

We need a new strategy then. Where is Bunga bunga Priminister? Leader has gone walkabout.

[andrewsmith]

We need a new strategy then. Where is Bunga bunga Priminister? Leader has gone walkabout.

In lieu of your leader being AWOL

Want me to take control

[The Idle Biker]

Do you provide free cucumber sandwiches?

[andrewsmith]

Cucumber what's that?
Maybe ham and Pease pudding in a Scottie or bacon and black pudding, but not any of this fancy Dan cucumber ;-)

[Fallout]

I AM HERE! FEAR ME!

I have been away drinking and driving. But have now returned to impart wisdom once more. So I shall start with don't drink and drive. It makes you feel very very ill.

[Littlepeahead]

You didn't even have a rant about strippers.

[Fallout]

Oh yeah. Second piece of wisdom: strippers are for the weak.

[andrewsmith]

Oh yeah. Second piece of wisdom: strippers are for the weak.
I am Weak!!!

Corrected ;)

[Fallout]

You are in error, good sir! Ask Spank about strippers and dwarfs and the mens toilet.

[andrewsmith]

You are in error, good sir! Ask Spank about strippers and dwarfs and the mens toilet.

only if I'm credited +100 ;)

[Thunderace]

only if I'm credited +100 ;)

Members of the resistance don't get + credits, you sir are a fool check back through some threads and check what your waffling!:rolleyes:

[Thunderace]

:smt072

[Thunderace]

To The Cabinet,

I would just like to say "bravo" and lend my support to the campaign for the Minister Elect for North West Guildford, he has really taken to his role with gusto and seems to understand the New Model vibe.

Yours Faithfully,

Transport Minister.

[Mark_h]

I was in full support but I have concerns over his sustainability with respect to antagonising bouncers and other notably violent individuals. I think we should send him into Loomies with Jammy, let Jammy do his breakfast thing and see how he deals with the inevitable conflict situation. If it's in a Soho stylee then he'll be filleted anyway so no issue. If he reacts sustainably then he's in so far as I'm concerned.

Do we agree that the ministry of Guildford NW also includes accountability for keeping a lid on AndrewSmith during any probationary period?

I feel a weekender into NW Guildford taking in the road from Newtown into Doddy Wells then a couple of laps of the Rhayader ring before getting all nadgery in the elan valley while heading out to Abertystwyth for chips and icecream.

Could be a potential trip for October if we get some decent weather.

[DJ123]

What is the date we are expecting to be running the Org by? It seems like with our new avatar scheme we have gained many more followers. I expect the next poll of popularity figures for the party to be high.

[Runako]

I was in full support but I have concerns over his sustainability with respect to antagonising bouncers and other notably violent individuals.

Awwww that was non-Empire related business! Obviously if it were cabinet related I would tow the line. Plus, one must live up to the name of one's avatar!

Do we agree that the ministry of Guildford NW also includes accountability for keeping a lid on AndrewSmith during any probationary period?

Is this some kind of penance for my sins?

[andrewsmith]

Fresh Meat :evil:

[widepants]

No

[Mark_h]

Non
Corrected for you old bean,,,,

[Thunderace]

Could be a potential trip for October if we get some decent weather.

On exercise three out of the four weeks in October! Dates ASAP please to facilitate my skiving.;)

[Mark_h]

Will only be considered if the weather takes a massive effort for an Indian Summer. NW Guildford is a tad damp at the best of times!

[Thunderace]

To The Cabinet,

I have just extended the hand of friendship to the Thames Valley bods, http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?p=2777400#post2777400 I hope this meets with Cabinet approval, after all we are slowly converting tonyk so why not get us all together?

Yours Faithfully,

Transport Minister.

[widepants]

non

[startrek.steve]

Bags me for Minister of Space Travel!

[The Idle Biker]

we are only taking baby steps towards world domination. Thames Valley, Essex, Earth.

Space will come later. Maybe 2014. Leave your CV, we'll be in touch when the time comes.

Rgds Minister for Sex Education (currently abstaining)