View Full Version : Fallout's New Model Britain!
Thunderace
26-09-12, 09:44 PM
Was this the PM resigning?
Post 2.
http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=185036
-3 points for Bordtea for being a smartass egotistical ****
Thunderace
06-10-12, 11:34 AM
Cabinet Meeting, Loomies 1100 tomorrow!
No excuses, except El presidente, who as we all know is off "pressing the flesh" In NW Guildford with the Minister of cakes, or pressing the Minister of cakes flesh in NW Guildford, whichever makes more sense!:smt115
Transport Minister.
Thunderace
12-10-12, 06:30 PM
Cabinet Meeting @ Loomies 1100 Sunday 14th October no excuses! Negative ROCA for all no shows!
Littlepeahead
12-10-12, 09:26 PM
Is being in a cast and on crutches mean I'm excused?
Thunderace
12-10-12, 09:41 PM
NO!
Thunderace
13-10-12, 09:16 AM
Cabinet Meeting @ Loomies 1100 Sunday 14th October no excuses! Negative TSCA for all no shows!
Littlepeahead
13-10-12, 09:44 PM
NO!
I am banned from riding as this could risk rupturing my Achilles just ahead of my recce of SE Guildford next Month.
For those members of the Cabinet not yet aware I will be undertaking an extensive tour and will report back on the roads and attractions of SE Guildford, including riding the Mae Hong Son loop and thorough trialling of the refreshments offered in a variety of establishments where the locals, known as 'ladyboys', offer a warm welcome.
Should the 'ladyboys' of SE Guildford prove to be enjoyable company and useful with a torque wrench then I will extend to them an invitation to visit Loomies for a future ride out if the Cabinet agrees.
Thunderace
13-10-12, 09:53 PM
Sounds like a plan, I can organise Transport to ensure said lady boys get customs free entry to the UK!
Thunderace
17-10-12, 10:09 PM
Transport Ministers 4th policy amendment;
Not so much no speed limit, just get rid of 30 and below, 40 for built up areas, extremely loud exhausts for everyone to let the kiddies know to stay off the road, national speed limit set to 120 with a minimum speed of 90 on dual carriageways and motorways, punishable by death to all those Sunday drivers!
And bus lanes resurfaced and re-named racing lanes, and all forms of mass transit to be melted down and recycled into after market bits and bobs, train tracks to be removed and tarmacked for use by bikes only, all HGV's banned from minor roads!
The train track thing is aimed at those like me who relish the opportunity to max out your bike from time to time, most of you lot have seen me try and corners keep getting in the way!
One train and one track shall be kept (location to be confirmed) so any fat person wearing Lycra can be tied to the back and be made to run or be dragged behind it! If there is any doubt as to whether someone is fat, please see the Minister for Sustainability as he is the threshold from which to be judged, as and when we find a Minister for Sport I will consult them and amend my policy accordingly!
New amendment for cyclists, due to the Prime Ministers new Zombie Apocalypse duties, I thought I'd lend a hand;
All cyclists over 17 will be rounded up and brought to Guildford, where they will be sealed in the Spectrum for safe keeping, they will have facilities to keep fit and in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse will be used as bait to facilitate our escape!
Amendment:
All people that when spotting the fast lane on a motorway has been closed proceed to speed down the fast lane and then jostle for position in the queue thus making the traffic slower and more congested should be shot on sight and all trace of their gene pool removed from the face of the Earth!
I hope this meets with the Prime Ministers approval!
'All people that when spotting the fast lane on a motorway has been closed proceed to speed down the fast lane and then jostle for position in the queue thus making the traffic slower and more congested should be shot on sight and all trace of their gene pool removed from the face of the Earth!'
All the time. When it happens i just refuse to let them in so they sit there for hours
All cyclists over 17 will be rounded up and brought to Guildford, where they will be sealed in the Spectrum for safe keeping, they will have facilities to keep fit and in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse will be used as bait to facilitate our escape!
Oi, Transport Minister. What makes under 17's so special? And, as in our NNN Guildford (Scotland) kin who seek devolution, we exercise our regional powers in NW Guildford to block this particular amendment in our territory.
We simply do not believe in a Zombie Apocalypse (although the sheep do look a bit rough on a Monday morning)!
Regards,
Minister for NW Guildford
Spank86
18-10-12, 06:36 AM
Under 17's aren't allowed to drive so cycling makes an acceptable alternative to walking.
Personally I'd allow bikes for everyone but banish them to the pavements with pedestrians all the time.
Thunderace
18-10-12, 05:39 PM
Under 17's aren't allowed to drive so cycling makes an acceptable alternative to walking.
This^
And no cyclists get on my tits! They pay no road tax so have 0 right to use the road, off road cycling/mountain biking is fine, but other than that no!
That was part of an earlier amendment made before NNWG had been annexed and I'm afraid to make a U-turn on one of the most popular parts of my policy would be political suicide.
Regards,
Transport Minister.
Spank86
18-10-12, 05:41 PM
You don't pay road tax either, you pay vehicle excise duty, and nobody pays anything directly for use of pavements.
Thunderace
18-10-12, 05:42 PM
OK Then "Vehicle excise duty" if you want to be picky, but if you ain't got it you can't be on the grey stuff.
Under the New Model "Vehicle excise duty" will be renamed road tax!
Council Tax? For pavements street lighting etc?
Spank86
18-10-12, 05:47 PM
But you pay that even if you don't use them.
Actually if you take he engine out of your car you can be on it all you like.
Thunderace
18-10-12, 05:48 PM
But you pay that even if you don't use them.
Actually if you take he engine out of your car you can be on it all you like.
Not if it doesn't have tax you can't, not even on the pavement. Check the DVLA Website.
Spank86
18-10-12, 05:54 PM
You're right, we'd have to disassemble it almost completely for that to work.
Thunderace
18-10-12, 06:00 PM
You're right, we'd have to disassemble it almost completely for that to work.
Well you could dismantle a vehicle and leave it on the road or pavement, but I think the reason there is no law against this is due to the lack of people being quite stupid enough to do it? Although you may get done for fly tipping or the bin men might take it away!
Spank86
18-10-12, 06:16 PM
Never underestimate the amount of stupidity intelligence can create.
Thunderace
18-10-12, 06:24 PM
Never under estimate the predictability of stupidity.
Spank86
18-10-12, 06:26 PM
That too.
Fallout
18-10-12, 06:26 PM
Never underestimate the size of an elephant's penis.
Thunderace
18-10-12, 06:27 PM
It can make your eyes water!
Spank86
18-10-12, 06:54 PM
I think you'll find the reason for that's because it blocks your nasal passages Nathan.
Well you could dismantle a vehicle and leave it on the road or pavement, but I think the reason there is no law against this is due to the lack of people being quite stupid enough to do it? Although you may get done for fly tipping or the bin men might take it away!
Shows how pointless the amendment is. You would fare better getting the energy companies to provide the lowest tarrif ...
Oh, and were your amendment to succeed it would mean you would be snookering yourself dear boy as in a few years petrol/insurance will become so expensive that you will resort to a bicycle ... with 'road tax' and insurance. Good thinking Batman.
We in NW Guildford prefer keeping our option to ride our cattle and other non-automotive transport on the ffordd's once the black gold runs out.
regards,
Minister for NW Guildford
I insure and tax two cars and two motorcycles. If I choose to ride my bicycle on the road I will do so.
The vast majority of adult cyclists on the road also insure and tax one or more vehicle. If they are on their bicycle at worse they are a minor inconvenience for a fraction of a second and if I am stupid enough to hit it chances are I'll not come off too badly. If that same cyclist is in a car then not only are they more in the way but they are likely to be more in the way for longer. If that same car driving cyclist pulls out on me or does something stupid the outcome for me is likely to be far worse than if they were on their bicycle.
So rather than ban cyclists, we should encourage cycling. Cyclists riding two abreast in inappropriate places will have a 20kg weight added to their bike which should dissuade them fast enough.
Anyone caught or reported performing s stupid car maneuver is sentenced to a period of cycling appropriate to the nature of the infringement.
If you think about it logically rather than emotionally you'll find that, as usual, I am right.
Thunderace
18-10-12, 08:57 PM
Shows how pointless the amendment is. You would fare better getting the energy companies to provide the lowest tarrif ...
Oh, and were your amendment to succeed it would mean you would be snookering yourself dear boy as in a few years petrol/insurance will become so expensive that you will resort to a bicycle ... with 'road tax' and insurance. Good thinking Batman.
We in NW Guildford prefer keeping our option to ride our cattle and other non-automotive transport on the ffordd's once the black gold runs out.
regards,
Minister for NW Guildford
Think you may have missed a post or two there so go back and read again!
Regards,
Transport Minister.
The vast majority of adult cyclists on the road are a bunch of ****s!
I could not agree more!
Thunderace
18-10-12, 09:00 PM
I insure and tax two cars and two motorcycles. If I choose to ride my bicycle on the road I will do so.
The vast majority of adult cyclists on the road also insure and tax one or more vehicle. If they are on their bicycle at worse they are a minor inconvenience for a fraction of a second and if I am stupid enough to hit it chances are I'll not come off too badly. If that same cyclist is in a car then not only are they more in the way but they are likely to be more in the way for longer. If that same car driving cyclist pulls out on me or does something stupid the outcome for me is likely to be far worse than if they were on their bicycle.
So rather than ban cyclists, we should encourage cycling. Cyclists riding two abreast in inappropriate places will have a 20kg weight added to their bike which should dissuade them fast enough.
Anyone caught or reported performing s stupid car maneuver is sentenced to a period of cycling appropriate to the nature of the infringement.
If you think about it logically rather than emotionally you'll find that, as usual, I am right.
Back off Sustain-a-boy Transport is my bag, you're getting close to being behind the Lycra wearers! You'll see once we're in power a Sunday ride will no longer be interrupted by cyclists, I know to bimblers like your good self this may make no odds, but to those of us who ride like they mean it cyclists are something no less than a fecking annoyance!
Regards,
Transport Minister.
EDIT: Why now do you have the problem? My policy has been fine by you for months, but now you complain? Highly unsustainable!
Think you may have missed a post or two there so go back and read again!
Regards,
Transport Minister.
I could not agree more!
Memo to Transport Minister (or incongrous Lackey that handles the memos),
Please be more specific.
Regards,
Minister for NW Guildford
Thunderace
18-10-12, 09:10 PM
Memo to Transport Minister (or incongrous Lackey that handles the memos),
Please be more specific.
Regards,
Minister for NW Guildford
No! You quoted a post and then posted a reply that had no bearing. Stop putting smack on those cornflakes!
Regards,
Transport Minister.
Back off Sustain-a-boy Transport is my bag, you're getting close to being behind the Lycra wearers! You'll see once we're in power a Sunday ride will no longer be interrupted by cyclists, I know to bimblers like your good self this may make no odds, but to those of us who ride like they mean it cyclists are something no less than a fecking annoyance!
Regards,
Transport Minister.
EDIT: Why now do you have the problem? My policy has been fine by you for months, but now you complain? Highly unsustainable!
So you'd rather have them bimbling around in X5 BMWs and big volvo estates? I'd go for a little bicycle on the road every time. My thought through penalty mechanism deals with the key issues raised by unsustainable cyclists while enabling the more considerate cyclist to continue to not be in my way.
Instead you should focus this energy on getting rid of any 4x4 that is not covered in dings dents and mud. You can't see over them, you usually can't see through them and typically shiny 4x4's are driven by undesirables. Those used to transport jodpur wearing yummy mummies are of course absolutely fine.
As for the latency in this challenge, well to be honest I've had more important sustainability matters to attend to before I got around to these trivial transport matters. Oh and one of the catseyes by the end of the runway if a tad dim, can you sort it? It's just by the little baily bridge and it has been sub-optimal for weeks now so off you go young man.
No! You quoted a post and then posted a reply that had no bearing. Stop putting smack on those cornflakes!
Regards,
Transport Minister.
Well assuming your posts are satirical in nature, my quoting of your post was related to your advocacy of various legitimate applications of the 'road tax'.
But if I'm incorrect, I apologise and would extricate myself from this discussion on the efficacy of your New Order bicycle policy. Tooodalooo
Thunderace
18-10-12, 09:35 PM
So you'd rather have them bimbling around in X5 BMWs and big volvo estates? I'd go for a little bicycle on the road every time. My thought through penalty mechanism deals with the key issues raised by unsustainable cyclists while enabling the more considerate cyclist to continue to not be in my way.
Instead you should focus this energy on getting rid of any 4x4 that is not covered in dings dents and mud. You can't see over them, you usually can't see through them and typically shiny 4x4's are driven by undesirables. Those used to transport jodpur wearing yummy mummies are of course absolutely fine.
As for the latency in this challenge, well to be honest I've had more important sustainability matters to attend to before I got around to these trivial transport matters. Oh and one of the catseyes by the end of the runway if a tad dim, can you sort it? It's just by the little baily bridge and it has been sub-optimal for weeks now so off you go young man.
Well yes! If you can't see round it or through it you know what to do! But cyclists are a hidden danger, you can be happily disobeying the fuzz round a tasty B-road and hidden by a hedge mid apex pow! cyclists! If they want to ride two wheels, well need I say more? If physical exercise is what they're after, well they can come to the Transport Ministries physical re-education centre.
As to the catseye please direct your concerns to the Minister for Road Safety. Or have you forgotten how the New Model operates, misguided complaints are highly unsustainable!
Well assuming your posts are satirical in nature, my quoting of your post was related to your advocacy of various legitimate applications of the 'road tax'.
But if I'm incorrect, I apologise and would extricate myself from this discussion on the efficacy of your New Order bicycle policy. Tooodalooo
Much appreciated!;)
Thunderace
18-10-12, 09:41 PM
I insure and tax two cars and two motorcycles.
No you don't! 2 Cars, 1 bike and 1 hair dryer!
No you don't! 2 Cars, 1 bike and 1 hair dryer!
Do not mock the mighty Epicuro!
It stops starts steers and mostly nothing falls off it between days out. It can even put all it's power through it's entire drive-train Now lets's do a quick audit of your fleet ...... oh dear......
Thunderace
19-10-12, 02:57 PM
Do not mock the mighty Epicuro!
It stops starts steers and mostly nothing falls off it between days out. It can even put all it's power through it's entire drive-train Now lets's do a quick audit of your fleet ...... oh dear......
Ok lets! The Ace is mechanically sound, just some fairly major cosmetic defects due to idiot bint at tesco, 2 mondeos both with working clutch and gearbox thank you very much.........whoops! Didn't know I'd fixed it already did you!
Bought the second one coz it was dirt cheap just in case I cocked up the fitting of new flywheel, bit excessive you may think, but and Fallout I'm sure will agree, it's the 2.5 V6 taxed and tested £200!
Fallout
19-10-12, 03:16 PM
Sweet. I can scavenge that shiz for parts too.
......, 2 mondeos both with working clutch and gearbox thank you very much.........whoops! Didn't know I'd fixed it already did you!
So you've already stripped, replaced and reassembled or was it yet another clutch fluid related issue?
How did you get around the engine lift challenge? Or did you just bully and rant the clutch into submission?
Thunderace
19-10-12, 07:40 PM
Sweet. I can scavenge that shiz for parts too.
No you can't! It's mint and fairly swift for a cage!
So you've already stripped, replaced and reassembled or was it yet another clutch fluid related issue?
How did you get around the engine lift challenge? Or did you just bully and rant the clutch into submission?
Bought a crate for the REME boy's in the LAD and it took them about 4 hours, now drives lovely, I'm thinking sell the Derv and keep the V6!
Thunderace
30-10-12, 07:40 PM
Dear Cabinet,
Due to personal circumstances, I feel it necessary to tender my resignation as Transport Minister, although (if the cabinet sees fit) I would like to put myself forward for Minister for Rural Guildford (Norfolk).
Yours Regretfully:(
The former Transport Minister.
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