The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

[SoulKiss]

Originally Posted by daveyrach

That's the fault, that it's an Iphone.

+1 Brother

(Did you all miss me, all it needed was a post about an iProduct to bring be back, its a bit like saying "Beetlehjuice" 3 times

Originally Posted by SoulKiss

+1 Brother

(Did you all miss me, all it needed was a post about an iProduct to bring be back, its a bit like saying "Beetlehjuice" 3 times

And have being the 1000th post

[SoulKiss]

Originally Posted by Cymraeg_Atodeg

And have being the 1000th post

Acrually the 1001st -

Which is still 5,100 behind my total number of posts

but nowhere near the total amount of tears you shed for every fruit based product sold

Originally Posted by SoulKiss

Acrually the 1001st -

Which is still 5,100 behind my total number of posts

More over the 1000th reply, as the OP doesn't technically count

[Popy Fresco]

A guy walks into a bar and starts pretending to shoot arrows to a few girls. One of those girls smiles and gets closer to talk: "Hey, I saw that you threw me an arrow." *wink*

"Yes, I guess I did."

"Who are you?", she asks. "Cupid throwing love arrows?"

"No, I'm Legolas killing orcs!"

[punyXpress]

There was a knock on the door this morning.
I opened it to find a young man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I’m a Jehovah's Witness ...."
I said "Come in and sit down."
I offered him coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Bu99ered if I know, I've never got this far before !"

[squirrel_hunter]

I'm currently writing a mystery novel...

Or am I?

"And so you were, to put it simply, as drunk as a judge at the time," insisted the prosecution lawyer.
"Excuse me," interrupted the judge, "I think you will find that the expression is 'drunk as a lord'."
"I stand corrected, your lordship. "

[punyXpress]

Not funny, really
Spanish Oysters
An Australian stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around Madrid.
While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'
The waiter replied, 'Si Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'
The Australian said, 'I will have the same please.'
The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'
The following day he returned, placed his order, and that evening was served
the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.' The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied,
'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."