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Old 18-06-14, 05:09 PM   #1021
punyXpress
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Who says Yorkshire folk aren't the last romantics?

Yorkshire Love Story
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending
death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both
hands, he crawled downstairs.
With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favourite scones
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Yorkshire wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture.
His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon ...... Bugger off she said 'they're for the funeral.'
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Old 01-07-14, 06:12 AM   #1022
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What's the difference between terrorism and democracy?

Whether the United States is attacking or being attacked.





The king of Spain has abdicated.

Another Juan bites the dust.
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Old 01-07-14, 09:51 PM   #1023
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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The king of Spain has abdicated.

Another Juan bites the dust.
Now THAT'S funny
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Old 02-07-14, 03:01 PM   #1024
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I went to a lingerie shop and decided to splash out on a sexy pair of knickers. Apparently I've now got to pay for them.
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Old 02-07-14, 03:17 PM   #1025
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

The inventor of the USB connector died last week. At the funeral it took several attempts to lower the coffin the right way round.
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Old 02-07-14, 05:24 PM   #1026
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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The inventor of the USB connector died last week. At the funeral it took several attempts to lower the coffin the right way round.
Worst design ever, why not make the top curved a bit!
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Old 02-07-14, 08:37 PM   #1027
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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Worst design ever, why not make the top curved a bit!
Like a coffin
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Old 02-07-14, 09:58 PM   #1028
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Who is this Rorschach fellow?

And why does he have so many pictures of my parents arguing?
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Old 04-07-14, 02:41 PM   #1029
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What do you call a spanish fire fighter? Jose

What do you call a second spanish fire fighter? Hose B
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Old 06-07-14, 03:27 AM   #1030
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

FIFA have denied that the world cup is fixed and that Brazil deserved their hard fought semi final victory against Germany next Tuesday.
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