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#111 |
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Mega Poster
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Sunny Swindon
Posts: 3,573
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I've joined the British Reincarnation Society.
It cost me £800 to get in. But I thought hey, you only live once! |
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#112 |
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Three dogs, a Doberman, a Boxer, and a Labrador are
sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The Doberman turns to the Boxer and says, "So why are you here?" The Boxer replies, "I'm a ****er. I **** on everything - the sofa, the cat, and the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I ****ed in the middle of my owner's bed." The doberman says, "So what is the vet going to do?" "Lethal injection," came the reply from the sad Boxer. The Doberman then turns to the Labrador and asks, "Why are you here?" "The Lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, and I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I crossed the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the Doberman inquired. "Lethal injection," the dejected Lab said. The Labrador then turns to the Doberman and asks what he's at the vet's office for. "I'm a humper," the Doberman says. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I couldn't help myself. I hopped onto her back and started humping away." The Boxer and Labrador exchanged a sad glance and asked, "So, lethal injection for you, too, huh?" The Doberman says, "No, no, I'm here to get my nails clipped." |
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#113 |
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Plymouth, Devon - mostly.
Posts: 527
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__________________
Twitter: @poseidon_ashore |
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#114 |
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Digital TV.
apparently. |
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#115 | |
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Mega Poster
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the shadows to the left
Posts: 7,700
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#116 | |
Trinity
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Guildford
Posts: 8,027
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#117 | ||
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#118 | |
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Im in the middle of the library, help ![]() Matt |
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#119 |
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English Cricket
Well this is the joke section |
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#120 |
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FOR SALE
06' Suzuki GSXR 1000 2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. It has been gently ridden with both wheels always on the ground. I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently "do whatever the f*** you want" doesn't mean what I thought. ![]() |
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