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Old 15-09-12, 09:28 PM   #551
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Two parrots on a perch.

One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?".
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Old 15-09-12, 10:10 PM   #552
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Two cows are standing in a field. First cow says to the other,

'So are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease going around?'

Second cow says,

'Why should I be? I'm a squirrel.'"
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Old 15-09-12, 10:13 PM   #553
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Old 15-09-12, 10:30 PM   #554
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Two slugs turned a corner and came up behind two snails. They groaned loudly Oh no! Caravans!
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Old 16-09-12, 08:24 PM   #555
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Don't make fun of a big man with a lisp. He's probably thick and tired of it!
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Old 17-09-12, 09:05 AM   #556
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Don't marry a dyslexic dwarf. Its not big and its not clever.
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Old 17-09-12, 09:57 PM   #557
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

When I was a school the 'weird kid' was found pleasuring himself with some savoury biscuits. Everyone knew he was f**king crackers.
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Old 20-09-12, 09:56 PM   #558
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Why men should be aloud to sleep around and women shouldn't..............

If you have a key that fits every lock, it's a master key.

If you have a lock that can be opened by any key, it's a crap lock!
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Old 20-09-12, 09:58 PM   #559
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I ****ed this girl last night, and I must have been brilliant because she was telling everyone about it.

Her friends, her parents, the police...
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Old 20-09-12, 09:59 PM   #560
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

My girlfriend was putting sun cream on.

"Do you mind doing my back?" she asked.

"Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes."

"Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?"

And that was all the invitation I needed...
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