i think im in love?

[Richie]

just read Hovis... this is a cunning plan....


1. Remember her mum's birthday.
Any bloke can manage not to forget his girlfriend's birthday, but if you show up with flowers for her mum, she's yours.

2. Make stuff look difficult.
If she asks for your help opening a jar because she's already turned her whole body red trying to get it to budge, at least make it look like it's a little challenging when you pop it open in two seconds flat after she just struggled with it for 10 minutes, she may not appreciate your macho grin.

3. Always compare favourably.
The time will come when you will watch a film together and she will turn to you and say, "I think Halle Berry is so pretty ... don't you?" This is a trick! There is but one proper response, and it goes like this: "She's okay, but you blow her away." See? I even made it rhyme so it'd be easy to remember.

4. Act disgusted.
When you hear that a rich old man has left his wife for an young model, under no circumstances should the phrase "Nice one!" leave your mouth in her presence. Feigned horror and " cradle snatching" sentiments are your best options.

5. Wash your stinky feet.
Don't wait for her to turn green.

6. Put down the remote.
If you flip channels while she's discussing her deep feelings, this is a dead giveaway that you're not listening. No good can come of this. It's better to just nod a lot, occasionally say "I completely agree with you," and wait for her to exhaust herself.

7. Using the phone doesn't make you a loser.
When you're out with your mates and it becomes clear that she shouldn't wait up for you, suck up your pride, endure the "ball and chain" remarks, and remember that the guys' legs are considerably less smooth when wrapped around you than your girlfriend's. Call her.

8. Go hairless.
Some areas are more beautiful when they're bald. These include your back, nose, ears.
9. Ease up on the figures.
If you're dating a woman and you both don't mind splitting restaurant bills, fine. But if you break out a calculator to make sure it's exactly equal, try to determine who ate what portion of what, or agree to "lend" her money to pay the tip, do not pass go: Go directly to No-Girlfriend Land.

10. If you love her, tell her.
Again and again. Don't assume that you can just tell her once and she'll believe it's true until you tell her otherwise. There are two things a woman never gets sick of hearing: "I love you" and "Your butt looks amazing." Sprinkle both into your conversations liberally.


if it works... I'll have a bottle of whiskey please.

Rohypnol - helping ugly men get laid since 1975

Difficult one Hovis, but for me this is easy as it breaks rule 1.

"Never at work"

Rule 2 is "never touch another mans Rhubarb"

They are my only rules so it does leave a lot of scope

but in all seriousness seeking relationships at work can be fraut with danger, not only emotional ones but letigous ones as well so be careful dude and good luck.

I would play it a bit slower mate , have a feeling you are gonna get burned on this one . Not saying "Dont go for it" , just test the water a bit more , lots of these signs can be misread . Had my paws burned more times than I can remember mate , then again that testing water is handy for putting out the singe .

Originally Posted by Lozzo

Rohypnol - helping ugly men get laid since 1975

Where can I get some?

[squirrel_hunter]

Originally Posted by BanditPat

Where can I get some?

PM sent.

Originally Posted by Richie

9. Ease up on the figures.
If you're dating a woman and you both don't mind splitting restaurant bills, fine. But if you break out a calculator to make sure it's exactly equal, try to determine who ate what portion of what, or agree to "lend" her money to pay the tip, do not pass go: Go directly to No-Girlfriend Land.

Ha ha! A guy who took me out did this! And he started the night by trying so hard to impress, then ended it with almost using a calculator! yep I walked away pretty quickly.

Mr Lou and I met a work, he was 38 and I was 30. I had a lot of misgivings about wondering if it would work and if it didn't having to continue at work. But 10 years on we're happier than ever!
BUT, do take it slowly, it took us a while to finally get it together.

so....any updates yet hovis?

wish you well Hovis..

me married twice- divorced twice.. so me not the best person for advice.

well maybe on pullin em..! but not keepin em.. !

good luck..

what will be will be- good thing is she knows you already and the real YOU.. you are a cracking guy- funny and intelligent.. so all should be well my friend.