The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 103 - SV650.org

punyXpress · 18-06-14, 05:09 PM

Who says Yorkshire folk aren't the last romantics?

Yorkshire Love Story
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending
death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both
hands, he crawled downstairs.
With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favourite scones
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Yorkshire wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture.
His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon ...... Bugger off she said 'they're for the funeral.'

BanannaMan · 01-07-14, 06:12 AM

What's the difference between terrorism and democracy?

Whether the United States is attacking or being attacked.

The king of Spain has abdicated.

Another Juan bites the dust.

01-07-14, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BanannaMan

The king of Spain has abdicated.

Another Juan bites the dust.

Now THAT'S funny

mikerj · 02-07-14, 03:01 PM

I went to a lingerie shop and decided to splash out on a sexy pair of knickers. Apparently I've now got to pay for them.

phi-dan · 02-07-14, 03:17 PM

The inventor of the USB connector died last week. At the funeral it took several attempts to lower the coffin the right way round.

L3nny · 02-07-14, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phi-dan

The inventor of the USB connector died last week. At the funeral it took several attempts to lower the coffin the right way round.

Worst design ever, why not make the top curved a bit!

02-07-14, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L3nny

Worst design ever, why not make the top curved a bit!

Like a coffin

squirrel_hunter · 02-07-14, 09:58 PM

Who is this Rorschach fellow?

And why does he have so many pictures of my parents arguing?

04-07-14, 02:41 PM

What do you call a spanish fire fighter? Jose

What do you call a second spanish fire fighter? Hose B

BanannaMan · 06-07-14, 03:27 AM

FIFA have denied that the world cup is fixed and that Brazil deserved their hard fought semi final victory against Germany next Tuesday.

18-06-14, 05:09 PM	#1021
punyXpress Member Mega Poster Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Riding, North Posts: 2,664	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Who says Yorkshire folk aren't the last romantics? Yorkshire Love Story An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favourite scones Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Yorkshire wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture. His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon ...... Bugger off she said 'they're for the funeral.' __________________ Was: K2 naked in rapid yellow - gone to a better? place Now: Street Triple R

01-07-14, 06:12 AM	#1022
BanannaMan Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Appalachia Posts: 419	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes What's the difference between terrorism and democracy? Whether the United States is attacking or being attacked. The king of Spain has abdicated. Another Juan bites the dust. __________________ ...Bill *"The Mountains are calling and I must go"*

02-07-14, 03:01 PM	#1024
mikerj Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Devon Posts: 876	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I went to a lingerie shop and decided to splash out on a sexy pair of knickers. Apparently I've now got to pay for them.

02-07-14, 03:17 PM	#1025
phi-dan Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: going up Camborne hill coming down Posts: 251	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes The inventor of the USB connector died last week. At the funeral it took several attempts to lower the coffin the right way round. __________________ Was: Red curvy S: crash bungs, double bubble screen, fenda extenda, HEL front lines, OEM belly pan Now: Blue FZ6 Fazer

02-07-14, 09:58 PM	#1028
squirrel_hunter Member Mega Poster Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Sunny Swindon Posts: 3,575	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes Who is this Rorschach fellow? And why does he have so many pictures of my parents arguing? __________________ "A little enthusiastic?" May I add here, GG is awesome and I think I am in love with Stretchie...he rocks my world! SH2 \| 2MA \| GROM \| YSR

04-07-14, 02:41 PM	#1029
ClunkintheUK Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes What do you call a spanish fire fighter? Jose What do you call a second spanish fire fighter? Hose B

06-07-14, 03:27 AM	#1030
BanannaMan Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Appalachia Posts: 419	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes FIFA have denied that the world cup is fixed and that Brazil deserved their hard fought semi final victory against Germany next Tuesday. __________________ ...Bill *"The Mountains are calling and I must go"*

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