The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes - Page 50 - SV650.org

06-08-12, 09:07 PM

How many G4S staff does it take to change a light bulb?

6 Soldiers and a Policeman!

BanannaMan · 07-08-12, 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bri w

What's 6 inches long, has a head on it and drives women crazy?

Money.

That is not a joke. Should be in interesting fact of the day.

andrewsmith · 07-08-12, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BanannaMan

That is not a joke. Should be in interesting fact of the day.

At least it wasnt; whats 12" long...

DJ123 · 07-08-12, 08:46 PM

I was telling my mate how my sex life is like a 100 metre final.

"Over in less than ten seconds?" he laughed.

"No," I replied. "I do it with seven big black men."

squirrel_hunter · 07-08-12, 09:32 PM

I was down Weymouth yesterday to watch some of that Olympic sailing. Was quite good.

I saw the Brits take Gold.

The Dutch take Silver.

And the Somalis take a middle aged couple from Surrey.

08-08-12, 05:27 AM

As a proctologist, I rectify every problem.

08-08-12, 09:09 PM

Why couldn't the drummer get through the door?

Because he had a hi-hat

Stingo · 08-08-12, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamesymurray

Why couldn't the drummer get through the door?

Because he had a hi-hat

Boom Boom

Boom tish

Ba da bing..

08-08-12, 10:08 PM

On January9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge .
So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

andrewsmith · 09-08-12, 07:07 AM

stolen!

06-08-12, 09:07 PM	#491
Thunderace Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes How many G4S staff does it take to change a light bulb? 6 Soldiers and a Policeman!

07-08-12, 08:46 PM	#494
DJ123 Member Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere over there Posts: 3,245	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I was telling my mate how my sex life is like a 100 metre final. "Over in less than ten seconds?" he laughed. "No," I replied. "I do it with seven big black men." __________________ BMW F800ST

07-08-12, 09:32 PM	#495
squirrel_hunter Member Mega Poster Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Sunny Swindon Posts: 3,575	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes I was down Weymouth yesterday to watch some of that Olympic sailing. Was quite good. I saw the Brits take Gold. The Dutch take Silver. And the Somalis take a middle aged couple from Surrey. __________________ "A little enthusiastic?" May I add here, GG is awesome and I think I am in love with Stretchie...he rocks my world! SH2 \| 2MA \| GROM \| YSR

08-08-12, 05:27 AM	#496
metalangel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes As a proctologist, I rectify every problem.

08-08-12, 10:08 PM	#499
Specialone Guest Posts: n/a	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes On January9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?" She says, "I'm going to commit suicide." While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one. After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

08-08-12, 09:09 PM	#497
jamesymurray Guest Posts: n/a	Why couldn't the drummer get through the door? Because he had a hi-hat

09-08-12, 07:07 AM	#500
andrewsmith Member Mega Poster Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, Just south of salad dodging country Posts: 7,750	Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes stolen! __________________ RIP Reeder 20/07/1988 - 21/03/2012. Always missed squire!!! Every year we meet old friends, gain some new ones, lose old ones and you always remember them all. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Mahatma Gandhi

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