Do Ants Have Ars*holes?

[squirrel_hunter]

I was given the book Do Ants Have Ars*holes? a couple of weeks ago. It basically a collection of silly questions and answers from the letters page of the Old Git magazine. I found it quite amusing.

However there is one question and answer I just don't get and put it out to the mighty org to explain it to me. I recommend the following link to get a feel for the book before attempting the question thus...

Is correct spelling and grammar really that important?

M. Ismail Khogyani, Samoa

Orthography, grammar, and syntax are tremendously important, a fact borne out by a tragic misreading on my part. In response to an advert in the shop window of my local butcher's, I took my prized Pomeranian poodle, Ralph, along to an address in the next village, glad for the help. I am just a poor old woman, and have long since stopped giving Ralph the exercise she deserves. The advert itself - it transpired - was entirely honest in it intentions; the fault was entirely in my misreading of a single letter: 'I will walk your dog. Call *******'. Poor Ralph!

Mrs Lenard Beacham, Somerset

If it is of any help I include the follow up answer (which I do get)...

I can sympathise entirely with Mrs Beecham and her ordeal with Ralph the dog. Readers may remember a certain Tory shadow minister's notorious interview with Hello! magazine earlier this year, for which he was immediately sacked by David Cameron. The tirade as it appeared in the audio tape of the interview is as follows:

They're parasites these 'Wives or Girlfriends', make no mistake about that. They do nothing to contribute to our economy, strolling around naked in hot countries like savages before returning to Britain, strolling around with their smug, garishly painted 'Wife or Girlfriend' faces, relying on handouts rather than working for a living. They make me sick.

The honourable gentleman's mistake was a small one - it is, of course, Wives AND Girlfriends, or 'WAGS' - but he surely cannot be blamed for Hello!'s decision to reproduce his mistake when typing out the acronym in print.

Jeeves Worcester, Pelham

Who ever can explain the above to me will be rewarded by way of one night with Stretchie, redeemable at AR08. No alternative offered.

Thanks in advance.

[Biker Biggles]

I think if you take the word walk and substitute the letter l for another letter(two letters later in the alphabet) you get your answer,and a very suprised dog

[Lissa]

The second one is easy too.

Wives AND Girlfriends................ acronym WAGS.

Wives OR Girlfriends..................acronym WOGS.

Not an acceptable word I think you would all agree, and apologies for using it but it was the only way to explain why the guy was sacked.

[squirrel_hunter]

BB I was thinking along those line as well, your not the only one to have suggested that. However I don't think it is as why would you have that in an advert? And if your right, then that wasn't funny?

My favorite to tickle you further...

Why do we 'take a break', instead of 'having' one? Surely the break stays where it is?

Darren Hole, Wigan

Interesting question. I sincerely hope that the questioner is not similarly confused as to the literal meaning of the phrase 'to take a dump'?

Gerald Foster, Carlisle, Cumbria