The Megathread -twiddle yr fingers here

[Wideboy]

Was blood everywhere, looked like the chainsaw massacre

[Reeder]

Well then clearly a pic shoulda been the first thing on your mind!

[andrewsmith]

I bet he's so pleased you told him it happens smithers ;) I'm sure he didn't know that himself.

Mate i nearly lost use of me thumb and index finger last year when a glass shattered in me hand

[Reeder]

Cool story

[HoL]

I once burnt my mouth eating hot pizza. true story

[Reeder]

That happened to me a few times. Horrible isn't it!

[HoL]

Why golly yes, I thought they might have to operate on the bit of skin that was hanging down

[Reeder]

That Joe is amusing.

[HoL]

I love the reaction he causes every time :D

[Reeder]

He's started loads of threads haha.

[HoL]

I'm gonna have to have read through them all.

Have you got one of those calculators where receipts come out the top?

[Wideboy]

hot pizza's a sod, what's worse is when your finger goes through the bog roll, that's bad news

[HoL]

WB you'll get a thumb infection doing that

[hindle8907]

haha

[Reeder]

Eww

[Wideboy]

Hai

[HoL]

Ahoy hoy Wideboy

[Reeder]

Yawn

[HoL]

Wake up Reeder, tomorows non uniform day in school

[DarrenSV650S]

Hol have you been fishing yet

[HoL]

Yeah, but I only caught crabs :(

[Reeder]

Todays is non uniform at work. Yay!

[HoL]

Really? What are you wearing? do you get to be the front or the back of the horse?

[Reeder]

tshirt and chinos.
Middle.

[andrewsmith]

Well we're 90% there :D

[-Ralph-]

Watching Lego Star Wars, it's f*****g hilarious :D

[DarrenSV650S]

Is the the darth vader canteen incident? Soooo funny that video :D

[hindle8907]

http://img.tapatalk.com/5003a743-29f1-71c6.jpg

Chips anyone ?

[HoL]

You like them crispy?

[andrewsmith]

nah its ****ed!

Anyways it lives and its even louder :evil:

[hindle8907]

You like them crispy?

fell asleep with oven on last night pi$$ed up.

Lucky mum and baby stayed out house stinks lol !

[HoL]

Whoops! I've certainly done that with pizza a good few times. Giant charcoal biscuits aren't that nice. You could have dipped them in marmite to make home made twiglets?

[Wideboy]

why are you always going on about hot pizza?

[HoL]

I'll stick to chicken from now on.

Have you given up on the idea of ever hitch hiking?

[Wideboy]

i'm on the list for a prosthetic one

[Reeder]

I honestly burnt my mouth on pizza yesterday. It made me think of you HoL.

[HoL]

Had you a had a couple of shandys? :rolleyes:

[Wideboy]

sexually? what about finger and bog roll? did you think of me? please say you did :(

[HoL]

sexually? what about finger and bog roll? did you think of me? please say you did :(

Lolz. I always think of WB when I look in the toilet

[Reeder]

I'm afraid I haven't pooped for weeks.

[DarrenSV650S]

What did you do to your thumb widemuppet?

[Girth]

http://pictures.funnyforum.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/gay-called.jpg

[andrewsmith]

Evening Girth!

[Dave20046]

Dilemma, I want to fit a new toilet seat but I don't reckon I'll need a poop tonight. How can I ensure I'm the first to use it??

[DarrenSV650S]

Curl one out on the door handle

[andrewsmith]

Curl one out on the door handle

:winner:

Laxitives?
Vindadon't?

It ain't this seat? (Cheers Ed for this one!)

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/p480x480/427129_376694109027452_336320923064771_1327757_766 101484_n.jpg

[Dave20046]

Curl one out on the door handle

I can't muster one! :(



Andrew smith - love that photo, keep meaning to do my own, bet I could do it more accurate.

[andrewsmith]

Tape the seat up?

[Dave20046]

resolution found, that roast chicken I ate about an hour ago just hit home rapidly. Just about had time to fit the thing! stroke of luck


And now to spend my night playing 'try and slam the toilet seat'


so far it's
slow close mechanism 2 - Dave 0

[DarrenSV650S]

lol

[andrewsmith]

Slow close 1,000,000 Dave 1

Its ****ed

[Dave20046]

Slow close 1,000,000 Dave 1

Its ****ed

yay, an optimist :) a win by TKO is still a win

I've tried taking it by surprise, lights off and all - no good

I'll study it further and refine my tactical advances as the night wears on. my game may suffer from some reaction slowment though.

[andrewsmith]

haha

all hail the ale

[DarrenSV650S]

Sit on it. Lets see it fight its way out of that one

[Fruity-ya-ya]

Evening. Tried Samuel Smith and Farmers Brown Cow. Tastey. tbc

[Fruity-ya-ya]

Morning Orgtown.
After washing them down with a Dominos pizza and some Bulmers the evening was complete however I am not going to be making the gym for 9am as I've just woken up and the pizza is trying to reappear.

[HoL]

Did someone say pizza?

[Reeder]

I just had pizza hut.

[HoL]

The mega thread for drivel please.

Well I'm offended, that stuff about the toilet seat was gold.


It's Monday by the way. Thought I'd keep you all informed.

[Reeder]

Argentina.

[HoL]

Creeeeesssssssssppppoooooooooo!

[Reeder]

Bored. Only been in work half an hour.

[HoL]

Half day? Did you have a very productive morning?

[Reeder]

No I stayed in bed.
I've not done a full week since December. I keep taking monday mornings off because I'm lazy and I hate my job.

[HoL]

Nice. I toyed with the idea of having every Wednesday off instead of having real holidays cos it broke the week up nicely.

I think you were a bit set up on that FB photo

[Dave20046]

Well I'm offended, that stuff about the toilet seat was gold.


It's Monday by the way. Thought I'd keep you all informed.

If you were referring to my toilet seat, it's still getting the better of me.

Not bad at all for £10 tbh

[HoL]

I was & that's a bargain. Have you got the patience to wait for it to drop when you're REALLY desperate though?

[Dave20046]

I was & that's a bargain. Have you got the patience to wait for it to drop when you're REALLY desperate though?
Nah,and to be honest I didn't anticipate that side of things - when the occasion 'rears its head' I think I'll go for the mid air , sit n' slam dunk :smt035

[HoL]

A dangerous move, splash back almost inevitable

[Dave20046]

A dangerous move, splash back almost inevitable

this is true, also a potential cheek/poo/seat sandwich on the cards if miscalculated.

Most folk just don't live life the edge :smt025

[Reeder]

I sometimes get the impression that I live on the edge of being banned from the forum.
Oh great one deleted my posts in joes thread because he's brilliant and smells of roses, but mainly because I'm a tw4t.

[Dave20046]

He doesn't like it when you mention the smell

[HoL]

Wait for it, I've found a loophole :)

[-Ralph-]

More Bolox

He doesn't like it when you mention the smell

It's mainly wee anyway, the cabbage and soot are kind of in the background.

[-Ralph-]

Oh great one deleted my posts in joes thread

Looks like it was it was fromrainyandgreynorthofburnleyone anyway

[Dave20046]

shh he's here

[Specialone]

shh he's here

You're safe dave, I LIKE you ;)

[HoL]

Is no-one safe?

[Dave20046]

:smt003:smt003:smt003
Is no-one safe?

yes, me read above




wahey indemnity! ...well tbf I reckon the rest of the mod team aren't a fan - but take that reeder!

[HoL]

He's luring you into a false sense of security before the real torment begins

[Specialone]

He's luring you into a false sense of security before the real torment begins

What you saying? I'm grooming him?:smt025

[HoL]

No sir, nothing sir.

[Dave20046]

you're just jealous [-(


anyway he's taking me away in April :smt050

[HoL]

What you saying? I'm grooming him?:smt025








anyway he's taking me away in April :smt050

Ahh the payoff. Enjoy.

[Reeder]

Bloody hell! Ralph's wandered into the wrong room again.

[Dave20046]

analytic, rational discussion and debate are not welcome here.

[Reeder]

analytic, rational discussion and debate are not welcome here.

I'd second that. It's why I'm normally here. I have nothing useful to add to most things, I just enjoy being social.

[andrewsmith]

Coooooooooeeeeeeeeeee

Is it safe to use toilet humour??


Sod it!

http://broccolicity.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/wm-funny-toilet-poster.jpg?w=500

http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Funny-toilet.jpg

http://www.weirdexistence.com/img/fun/funny-toilet-papers/funny-toilet-papers01.jpg

[andrewsmith]

helloooo?

[Wideboy]

high

[andrewsmith]

low

[Wideboy]

side to side

[andrewsmith]

backwards

[Wideboy]

you have to take it to far, tut

[andrewsmith]

Just seen the pic of your thumb.
I wasn't expecting that

[Wideboy]

good eh? you just want to lick it

[Reeder]

Put spirits in it and do shots.

[Wideboy]

that is irresponsible

[andrewsmith]

just pour sprits in and see your reaction mate

[Wideboy]

certainly wont hurt as i have no feeling in it